It’s tough knowing something nobody else knows.
It’s been a year. A year since Chris Brown broke up with me. I’ve been healing. Not everyone knows about all the stuff I went through to be with him, and then he breaks up with me. Kae and him are engaged now, I’ve heard. I’m happy he’s going to have what he wanted, which was a family. His daughter is beautiful, her names Karine. I’m not a stalker, that’s not how I know this shit. I became super close with Kimmie and Ty, I’m still close with Momma J, and I ask about Chris just to not be a bitter bitch.
I’m with Devante. We’re taking things real slow right now. I don’t want anything rushed anymore. He knows there’s a part of me that will always feel and love for Chris, and he understands that. He’s been good to me. LT is going to eligible for parole soon, so he could be getting out. I’ve been visiting him, he’s way better now. He’s being going to school, and wants to finish outside of prison.
Dad is still battling cancer, but it seems he’s getting stronger every day which is what I call a miracle.
I love my life right now. I’ve been through a whole bunch of shit but survived. That’s what matters right?
“I’ll get it.” I say so Devante can finish cooking.
“Thanks baby.” He says and I walk to the door. I grab a towel and wipe my hands, and open the door.
My heart races. Man, I thought this shit was over with…
sointoyouff asked: you slackin girrrrrl update!!! and you bout to end this story awwwready?!
nasha1001 asked: I'm so mad at Chris for doing that shit but it was for the best good chapter can't wait for the last one
:) thank youuu
Anonymous asked: really gonna miss this fan fic. a job well done.
Anonymous asked: the girl is so ugly beurk how can she be chris gf why didn't u choose a fat girl who is pretty cause her face is degusting anyway your idea is great i just hate the girl who play ledarice
Well the story is over so I can’t really so anything about it now.
It’s been a month since I’ve updated… But I didn’t know the direction I wanted this story to end… Check out 56 and I’ll post EPILOGUE later.
*2 WEEKS LATER*
Two weeks. Two weeks of not speaking to Chris, being around Chris, or seeing anything else that had to do with Chris. I tried, at least. I called him a couple of times every day, he’s the one that didn’t answer. I guess he should be mad at me. He wants my support, I get it. But it’s hard. I’d be the third parent. Honestly, I don’t want to be the other parent, I want to be the main one.
I’ve been spending my time with Devante, he’s asked me to drop charges, so LT can be released from prison. At first I thought he was crazy, but then again… he’s been in there for a little while, I just hope he’s seen what he’s done, and maybe he doesn’t want to end up back that place. Cause it’s not a joke there.
Spending time with Devante made me get a taste of what should’ve been. And let me say, it would’ve been great. But that doesn’t mean I regret being with Chris, because I’m in love with him. Which is the reason I’m being supportive and leaving this hotel and am going home. I don’t ask Devante for a ride, I’ll survive in a cab.
The ride there seems excruciatingly long, and I just want it to be over, I have the cab just leave me at the gate when I see Kae’s car parked in front. I don’t know what the hell she’s doing here, but I’m good. This is something I can handle now.
I walk up and just open the door. I don’t need to knock, I still live here technically. I set my bags down at the door and just listen for voices.
“I think this room will fit perfectly.” I hear Kae say, upstairs, so upstairs I go.
I see the door to an empty room Chris had open and walk in. They both turn to me, and Kae looks surprised, and so does Chris. I don’t know why though, I told him I was coming back.
“Le’Darice?” he says
“What, you forgot what I looked like in two weeks?” I ask him
“No… it’s just, I didn’t know you were coming back.” He says
“What do you mean you didn’t know I was coming back, I told you I needed some space. Why do you say it like that though? You weren’t expecting me to come back, you thought I was just going to leave you over this?” I ask him
“I did.” He says
“So, what are you trying to say Chris? We’re done?” I ask him
“I thought we were done the day you left two weeks ago…” He says
“Okay, so you two are together now?” I ask turning from Chris to Kae
“I wouldn’t have said yes, if I wasn’t sure if you were together or not.” She tells me
“One big happy family.” I say turning back to Chris.
I look to see the yellow and purple decorated room, all ready for their daughter.
“I can take a hint. I’ll leave.” I tell them
“Le’Darice you don’t have to leave you still live here.” Chris says
“What a stupid ass thing to say Chris. I obviously don’t.” I say and walk out
I make it to the bottom of the stairs, before the tears are just pouring. Nothing lasts forever, simple as that. I’m not even going to make a big deal out of it. Chris deserves a full family anyways. I grab my bags and walk out. Basically I don’t have a place to stay, I’m homeless. I pull out the phone and call my Dad, I know he doesn’t want me out the house, because he’s so sick and weak, and doesn’t want me staying with him but I have no other choice.
“Hello?” he answers
“Hi Dad.” I say
“Le’Darice, how are you doing?” he says in between coughs.
“Can I come home?” I say crying again.
And to my own complete surprise he answers.
“Of course, this is still your home.”
To be honest, I was playing stupid. I came to realize the second day Le’Darice left, that she was right. Having to Mom’s and one Father the day your born is hard to explain. So I just told Kae that we broke up and that we should have a complete family. She agreed, so she’s been living at the house. I still love DC I do, she’s definitely my soulmate. But my daughter growing up in basically a broken home, isn’t going to fly with me, I won’t let her go through that.
I should’ve just talked with her but I couldn’t deal seeing her face when I told her I was ending things. Kae had asked me if I was going to marry her, but I don’t think so. I just want to get through this time first. Cause my heart fiends for Le’Darice.
My reason may not make sense, but when my daughter ends up brilliant and is coming out of a happy home, it’ll be all worth it. I just hope she has some patience….
My selfish ways…
I just finished up unpacking all my stuff at my new condo. I decided to move back to LA. To be closer to my brother, and to be around Le’Darice more. I sat down in front of the tv, when my phone started ringing.
“D.” I answer
“Hey D.” It’s Le’Darice
“DC, I was going to go stop by your hotel later, how are you?” I ask
“Oh, I’m not at the hotel anymore. I back home with Dad.” She says
“Wait, what? What happened to going back to Chris?” I ask
“Chris didn’t want me back. He’s back with Kae.” She tells me
“The hell? I’m sorry, why didn’t he tell you beforehand?” I ask
“I don’t know. He really hurt me D. Like shit, I just needed time to process things, I told him I would be back.” She tells me
“Let me guess, he gave some bullshit explanation too?” I ask
“The bullshittiest of bullshit. I just don’t get it.” She says
“Well let’s do something.” I tell her
“Like?” she says
“I don’t know, I can come over and we can talk about the bullshit of a dude Chris Brown, he’s the reason my brother’s in jail, and then he breaks up with you? Cause that makes a whole bunch of sense.” I tell him
“Hey… I still love him though.” She says
“I know you do, but you can just let everything out to me. I’ll listen.” I tell her
“Okay, sounds good.”
“See you in a few.” I tell her
“Okay, bye.” She says and I hang up.
Chris Brown. You really did me a favor here. I wasn’t expecting it, I really wasn’t. I was expecting Le’Darice to leave him, not the other way around. But destiny is back on its course. The way it should’ve been. That’s the key here, the way it should’ve been.
I’m back in my bedroom. Back with my Dad. I’ve decided to take care of him, he doesn’t have anyone except for me honestly. I waited for Devante. I just needed someone to talk to. I really want to talk to Chris, because I don’t like the way our situation was handled. Like that’s it? It shouldn’t be.
My door opens, and it’s D.
“Yoooo” He says
“Hey” I reply
“I brought you a milkshake.” He says
“Aww. Thanks D.” I say
“How you holding up?” he says handing me the shake.
I take a sip of the shake, and take a deep breath.
“I’m crushed.” I tell him
“Shit.” He says and puts his arm around me
“It doesn’t make sense, I mean, I was going to be there for him and his daughter. I just needed to zen myself, and clear my head of all negativity. I don’t want her to be like “I don’t like Daddy’s girlfriend!” to Kae one day, and she threatens to take her away from him.” I tell him
“Why didn’t you two just sit down and talk?” he asks
“I wanted to when I went back, but I was hit by their big happy family.” I told him
“Wait, Kae had her baby?” he says
“No, but they were setting up the nursery. It was so cute.” I tell him
“They’re using the same room I wanted Chris to use with my baby if he would’ve taken her in when she was born…” I say lowly
“Don’t think about that….” He says to me
“I would’ve probably been so sick right now if I was still pregnant.” I tell him
“But you’re not. You’re alive and here, ready to move on from this Chris Brown situation. Or will be ready. I’ll be here for you.” He tells me
“Thanks D, I know our friendship right now is kind of awkward, and I’m sorry I feel so tense around you. It’s just when I see you, I’m thinking of LT…” I tell him
“It’d be weird if that’s not what you thought.” He says
“You know I just want to live this single life for a while. The first time I get into serious relationships, they just ended up being a slap to the face… Maybe cause I thought this is it, he’s the one… when I really shouldn’t have..” I tell him
“So you thought I was the one? Before LT that is.” He says
“I did. I mean we’ve been friends forever. Why wouldn’t this work out you know.” I tell him
“Well you never know, a heart can heal fast if it’s time is spent with the right person.” He says side eyeing me.
“Is that a hint towards something D?” I say looking at him suspiciously
“Who knows.” He says shrugging sarcastically
“You’re funny.” I tell him
“I know you still love him and probably always will, but you loved me first.” He says
“You have a minor point. But that’s very slim, not that much.” I say with a laugh
“You’re going to be a tough one to get through now Ms. Le’Darice.” He says
“No shit hahaha.” I say
“It’s cool, I’m not the one to give up quite easily anyways.” He says
I playfully push him away, and we just talk. But while we talk all I can think about is Chris. I shouldn’t give up like this, but I want him to be happy. I don’t want to complicate things for him or his daughter.
“I’m going to talk to him.” I tell D
“When?” he asks
“I’ll call him now.” I tell him
“What are you going to say?” he asks
“I don’t know…. I just want to say what I need to say, and if he wants us to really go our separate ways… well I can do that.” I say
“Well okay.” He says
I dial the number to his house, and he answers.
“Chris, we need to talk.” I immediately say
“Le’Darice I wanted to talk earlier, but you just dipped.” He says
“So what, you don’t want to talk now?” I say
“No, I do. You can come by the house.” He says
“No… can we just me somewhere else?” I say
“The studio if that’s okay.” He says
“See you there then.” I say and hang up
“Need a ride?” he says
“No, I’ll drive my car. Since I got it back.” I tell him
“You want me to wait here or go?” D asks
“Wait here, I’ll be back.” I tell him
He nods okay, and I grab my keys and leave.
It’s a quick drive to the studio, and he’s already there. I get out and he does too. He instantly hugs me. I don’t want to let him go, but I softly push him away.
“Listen, I didn’t think you were going to come back…” he says
“Chris I called you every day. And you never answered once. So I think you’re lying. If you wanted me to be gone, you should’ve told me cause I could’ve made that happen for you.”
“Whoa, it’s not like that. Let me explain.” He says
“You don’t need to, I get it. You want a complete family. I’d be an outsider, and what happens when your daughter asks why you and Kae don’t live in the same house, and we do but I’m not her Mom?” I tell him
The look on his face clearly says that I’m right.
“I’m not dumb Chris. You should know that.” I tell him
“You’re not dumb, you’re intelligent, and beautiful, and caring and-“ I stop him
“No need to say all that to make me feel better.” I tell him
“I don’t want to let you go.” He says suddenly grabbing my hands
“Well I won’t act as a mistress, and stay hidden. You made a decision and it wasn’t me.” I tell him
“Le’DARICE…” He says squeezing my hand
“What?” I say
“I will always be in love with you.’
“Goodbye Chris.” I say
I turn away, get in my car, and sit. I look back at him still standing, looking stunned. I don’t know what for, he got what he wanted. What should’ve been, and it’s up to him to find new happiness with Kae and that baby.
sointoyouff asked: You know you want to promote meee❤❤❤
GIRL. LMAO. Guys ^^^^^ check that shit.
obsessoverbrit asked: She runs away too much. It's understandable to need a break from someone or something but she needs to sit down & talk to Chris more. Even if she goes off, that's way better than leaving.
Well she didn’t abandon him, she needs to grasp things.
Anonymous asked: kinda annoyed with ledarice.... she wanted chris to be the father figure when her hcild was born, but when chris wanted her to be the mother figure, she got mad. she should know where he's coming from!
But… This child has both parents.. Kae & Chris. DC’s baby wouldn’t have either LT in jail & her dying……
Feedback on chapter 55 would be nice! :)
We talkin’ bout innocence here…
Devante and I went to the park just to talk. And it all made sense. It wasn’t LT that made me feel loved it was him. I felt bad, because I don’t think things can be the same, LT being the fault.
“I’m glad you decided to talk with me.” He says
“Me too, it’s good to finally understand things.” I tell him
“LT told me… that you were planning on giving custody of your daughter to me.” He says
I forgot about saying that. But I meant it.
“I was. I mean, I didn’t know you. But I felt like that’s why I could trust you as dumb as it seems.” I tell him
“Well I would’ve taken good care of her.” He says
“Thanks.” I say with a smile
“Well I should take you back now.” He says
“Yeah.” I say
“But we should do this again one day, if you ever need to talk.” He says
“We should, I’ll give you my number.” I tell him and he hands me his phone. I put my number in it, and we go back to his car.
When we get back to Chris’, Chris is sitting on his car. Waiting for me, most likely.
Devante gets out the car to open the door for me, and Chris jumps off his car instantly. I get out and stand in front of him.
“What are you doing?” I ask
“What’s he doing here?” Chris asks me
“He was giving me a ride home.” I tell him I turn around and wave goodbye to him. He waves back then gets back in and drives off.
“Okay, if you’re trying to get back at me… That’s not the way to go.” Chris says
“GET BACK AT YOU?” I say, how could he even think that. I went to blame LT for straining our relationship and he thinks I’m trying to get back at him?
“Yeah, by going off with his brother.” Chris says
“Chris. I went to the prison to talk to LT. to blame him for all the stuff I’m going through now. Devante was just there and offered me a ride home.” I tell him
“Oh. I’m sorry.” He says
“It’s fine.” I tell him and walk inside the house.
“Le’Darice…” I hear
“What.” I say back
“I think we should talk with Kae.” Chris says
“Chris, I think it’s a little too soon for that.” I tell him
“But this is something that needs to happen.” He says
“This soon? Hours after you told me that she’s pregnant? And so far along? You can talk with her.” I tell him
“Le’Darice…” He says
“Chris. I’m pissed. So pissed. I want a child! I WANT one! And I can’t live to even watch one grow up because I would DIE! DIE!” I yell at him
“But Le’Darice. This is something that could be good. You’d be like a mother figure. And we could raise her like she was ours, I’m sure Kae would understand.” He says
“How could you even say that to me… It’s not the same.” I say and run upstairs.
He won’t understand. I had a life inside of me. She was actually a part of me, and taking care of someone else’s… I couldn’t. Especially when both biological parents are around. I stare out the window and think. I need to talk with Devante again. I feel myself when I’m around him. I dial his number and call him.
“DC?” He answers
“Hey, I know you just left but can you come back and get me. I don’t think I should be here quite yet.” I ask him
“Of course. I’m not that far anyways, I’ll be back in like ten minutes.” He tells me
“Okay, bye.” I say and hang up.
I go to the room, and Chris is sitting on the bed on the phone. I don’t listen in, I just go to the closet and get some stuff for a couple days. I think I’ll just stay in a hotel. I put my stuff in a large bag, and then grab my charges and laptops. Chris doesn’t notice; he’s still on the phone. I grab the bags and walk out.
I wait by the front door, and Chris is fumbling down the stairs.
“Where are you going?” he asks
“I’m going to stay at a hotel for a couple days.” I tell him
“What for?” he says
“Chris… I need to grab a hold of this. I want accept the fact that you’re having a kid, and I don’t want to have bitter feelings towards her.” I tell him
“You don’t have to leave. We can do this together.” He says
“I really need the space right now.” I tell him
“Le’Darice I don’t want you to leave.” He says
“And I don’t want to leave but I need to.” I say
“I thought you weren’t going to let this tear us apart.” He says
That hurts, way to use me words against me.
“This isn’t tearing us apart. I need space, don’t forget when I was pregnant you needed your space.” I tell him
I can tell that hurt, and he backs away. He looks at me, then goes up the stairs. I want to call out for him, but I don’t. He’s as hurt as I am.
I see a car pull up and walk out the door. Devante gets out and has a confused look on his face.
“You think you can help me find a hotel? We just need some space.” I tell him
“Of course. Here let me get your bags.” He says and takes them from me
I get in and wait for him to get in too. I look at the house, and see Chris looking out the window.
I’m sorry Chris. I do want this to work, it just hurts too much.
I watched my girlfriend leave me. I watched her leave with her ex. I don’t know why I didn’t stop her. I should’ve been fighting for her. I don’t know where this is going to go from here. Can this get any worse? I fucked up this time, and it’s not good at all. I don’t want to lose her, that’s the last thing I want. But I need to be a father to my daughter, I just won’t be that guy. She needs me. I could care less about Kae to be honest.
I guess I would be talking to her about this arrangement after all. I called her.
“Hello?” she answered
“Hey.” I say
“Chris, what’s up?” she asks
“I told Le’Darice.” I tell her
“You did? How’d she take it?” Kae asks
“She’s okay about it, but she’s really hurt. She left to just process everything. Are you busy tonight?” I ask
“No, come over. I have some pictures and stuff to show you, I’ll fill you in on baby details and we can have dinner.” She says
“Okay. I’ll be there.” I tell her and hang up.
20 minutes later I’m at her place, and I ring the doorbell. She answers, and she looks cute.
“Hey.” She says with a smile and hugs me
“Hey, it smells good in here.” I tell her
“I’ve been cooking.” She says with a smile
I walk to the kitchen and there’s a whole bunch of paper work and pictures I can see.
“Sit down.” She says and I do.
She goes to the kitchen and grabs some plates, and set’s them on the counter. She sits next to me after.
“Well here’s all her pictures… Since the beginning.” She says
I look at all of them. All in order, all consistent. I smile. I should’ve been here for this. I wasn’t there for any of this while Le’Darice was still pregnant. A rush of guilt comes over me.
“She has a big head like you.” Kae says with a laugh. I smile at her. I forgot how much I loved her laugh.
“Hey hey hey…” I say
“It’s true.” She says
“Whatever.” I say and shush her away
“Don’t get all butt hurt now.” She says
“I ain’t. Thug life niggas don’t get butt hurt.” I tell her
“Haha, sure Chris. Sure.” She says and sets a plate in front of me.
“Enjoy.” She says and sits in front of me and eats too.
We end up just talking and enjoying eachother’s company. I remember this is how we used to be in the prime of our relationship.
“Chris?” she says
“What up.” I answer
“I know you’re with Le’Darice, and I respect your relationship. I do. But when she’s born, I hope that you and I can just spend times together. It’d be healthy for her, you know?” she says
“Of course. She’s my daughter, I’ll put her ahead of everything. I’m here for her well being and what’s best for her.” I tell her
“That’s good to know.” She says with a smile.
“Well, thanks for dinner. I should get going now.” I tell her
“Okay, but you’re welcome here anytime Chris. We’re still friends.” She says and gets up to walk me to the door.
I turn around.
“Bye Kae.” I say and give her a hug
As I’m about to back up she stops me and kisses me on the cheek. I look at her and just smile. I lean down and kiss her back, and as I pull my head back up she grabs my face and kisses me on the lips.
“See you soon.” She says and closes the door.
Did she? Did I just… Would that be cheating? Aren’t Le’Darice and I on a break? She didn’t say it, but that’s what it seems like. I just need to… I need to talk to Kimmie.
“Ty! Stop!” I say trying to control my laughter.
“Girl you know you like this!” he says and continues tickling me
“Nigga c’mon now!” I say trying to get away from him
He pulls me to him, and wraps his arms around me from the back. He knows I love this.
“Let’s go out tonight.” He says
“Alright alright.” I say
“You buzzing girl.” He says
“Oh, that’s my phone.” I say and pull it out of my pocket
“Helloooooo” I answer
“Kimmie. It’s Chris.” He says
Oh. So he’s finally decided to talk to me.
“Chris.” I say and Ty lets me go.
“I need to talk to you.” He says
“Well talk.” I tell him
“Kae is pregnant. The kid is mine.” He says
“Holy shit… Really Chris? What did Le’Darice say?” I ask
“She’s mad. She left, said she needed space. I was just over at Kae’s and we kissed. And I don’t know if that’s cheating… she didn’t really say we were taking a break… I don’t know. I need your help.” He says
“Okay, let’s talk tomorrow.” I tell him
“Thanks Kimmie.” He says
“Of course.” I say
“Bye.” He says and I hang up.
“What was that about?” Ty asks
“Kae’s pregnant Chris needs someone to talk to.” I tell him
“DAAAAAAMN.” He says
I can’t help but laugh.
“I feel bad. Le’Darice just lost her baby, and now he’s about to have a baby with Kae. His ex.” I tell him
“Damn, you want me to go with you tomorrow?” he asks
“Nah, it’s been awhile and we need to talk.” I tell him
“Aight.” He says
Chris needs to get his shit together.
Devante helped me find a hotel to stay out. It’s really nice and it’ll do just fine for a couple days.
“Are you going to be okay here?” Devante asks me
“Yeah D, I’ll be good.” I tell him
“I’m sorry about your situation. You don’t deserve anything you’re going through.” He says as he puts his hand on mine. I slowly pull away and play it off with a smile.
“It’s fine. I’ll get through this.” I tell him
“So he kicked you out?” he asks
“NO, no. I left. I just needed to think about some stuff. Prepare myself for this.” I tell him
“Makes sense.” He says
I nod okay.
“Just know that I’m gonna be here for you. DC. We’re still friends, and I still want to be part of your life if that’s okay with you. You’re really the only person I got now.” He says
“yeah.. yeah I don’t see anything wrong with that.” I say and he hugs me.
I’m taken by surprise but I hug him back.
“Thanks Le’Darice.” He says
“You’re welcome.” I respond
I don’t see anything wrong with this. We’re just friends. I haven’t done anything to show that I’m unfaithful. Chris is still my boyfriend. And I still love him with all I’ve got.
Anonymous asked: at least chris told her but good chapter
He needed to & thank yaaa
Anonymous asked: chris should just stay with kae and have a light skinned family lol but i like her and d better and welcome back
Thank you! & what! my first team chrae lmao