Devante and I went to the park just to talk. And it all made sense. It wasn’t LT that made me feel loved it was him. I felt bad, because I don’t think things can be the same, LT being the fault.
“I’m glad you decided to talk with me.” He says
“Me too, it’s good to finally understand things.” I tell him
“LT told me… that you were planning on giving custody of your daughter to me.” He says
I forgot about saying that. But I meant it.
“I was. I mean, I didn’t know you. But I felt like that’s why I could trust you as dumb as it seems.” I tell him
“Well I would’ve taken good care of her.” He says
“Thanks.” I say with a smile
“Well I should take you back now.” He says
“Yeah.” I say
“But we should do this again one day, if you ever need to talk.” He says
“We should, I’ll give you my number.” I tell him and he hands me his phone. I put my number in it, and we go back to his car.
When we get back to Chris’, Chris is sitting on his car. Waiting for me, most likely.
Devante gets out the car to open the door for me, and Chris jumps off his car instantly. I get out and stand in front of him.
“What are you doing?” I ask
“What’s he doing here?” Chris asks me
“He was giving me a ride home.” I tell him I turn around and wave goodbye to him. He waves back then gets back in and drives off.
“Okay, if you’re trying to get back at me… That’s not the way to go.” Chris says
“GET BACK AT YOU?” I say, how could he even think that. I went to blame LT for straining our relationship and he thinks I’m trying to get back at him?
“Yeah, by going off with his brother.” Chris says
“Chris. I went to the prison to talk to LT. to blame him for all the stuff I’m going through now. Devante was just there and offered me a ride home.” I tell him
“Oh. I’m sorry.” He says
“It’s fine.” I tell him and walk inside the house.
“Le’Darice…” I hear
“What.” I say back
“I think we should talk with Kae.” Chris says
“Chris, I think it’s a little too soon for that.” I tell him
“But this is something that needs to happen.” He says
“This soon? Hours after you told me that she’s pregnant? And so far along? You can talk with her.” I tell him
“Le’Darice…” He says
“Chris. I’m pissed. So pissed. I want a child! I WANT one! And I can’t live to even watch one grow up because I would DIE! DIE!” I yell at him
“But Le’Darice. This is something that could be good. You’d be like a mother figure. And we could raise her like she was ours, I’m sure Kae would understand.” He says
“How could you even say that to me… It’s not the same.” I say and run upstairs.
He won’t understand. I had a life inside of me. She was actually a part of me, and taking care of someone else’s… I couldn’t. Especially when both biological parents are around. I stare out the window and think. I need to talk with Devante again. I feel myself when I’m around him. I dial his number and call him.
“DC?” He answers
“Hey, I know you just left but can you come back and get me. I don’t think I should be here quite yet.” I ask him
“Of course. I’m not that far anyways, I’ll be back in like ten minutes.” He tells me
“Okay, bye.” I say and hang up.
I go to the room, and Chris is sitting on the bed on the phone. I don’t listen in, I just go to the closet and get some stuff for a couple days. I think I’ll just stay in a hotel. I put my stuff in a large bag, and then grab my charges and laptops. Chris doesn’t notice; he’s still on the phone. I grab the bags and walk out.
I wait by the front door, and Chris is fumbling down the stairs.
“Where are you going?” he asks
“I’m going to stay at a hotel for a couple days.” I tell him
“What for?” he says
“Chris… I need to grab a hold of this. I want accept the fact that you’re having a kid, and I don’t want to have bitter feelings towards her.” I tell him
“You don’t have to leave. We can do this together.” He says
“I really need the space right now.” I tell him
“Le’Darice I don’t want you to leave.” He says
“And I don’t want to leave but I need to.” I say
“I thought you weren’t going to let this tear us apart.” He says
That hurts, way to use me words against me.
“This isn’t tearing us apart. I need space, don’t forget when I was pregnant you needed your space.” I tell him
I can tell that hurt, and he backs away. He looks at me, then goes up the stairs. I want to call out for him, but I don’t. He’s as hurt as I am.
I see a car pull up and walk out the door. Devante gets out and has a confused look on his face.
“You think you can help me find a hotel? We just need some space.” I tell him
“Of course. Here let me get your bags.” He says and takes them from me
I get in and wait for him to get in too. I look at the house, and see Chris looking out the window.
I’m sorry Chris. I do want this to work, it just hurts too much.
I watched my girlfriend leave me. I watched her leave with her ex. I don’t know why I didn’t stop her. I should’ve been fighting for her. I don’t know where this is going to go from here. Can this get any worse? I fucked up this time, and it’s not good at all. I don’t want to lose her, that’s the last thing I want. But I need to be a father to my daughter, I just won’t be that guy. She needs me. I could care less about Kae to be honest.
I guess I would be talking to her about this arrangement after all. I called her.
“Hello?” she answered
“Hey.” I say
“Chris, what’s up?” she asks
“I told Le’Darice.” I tell her
“You did? How’d she take it?” Kae asks
“She’s okay about it, but she’s really hurt. She left to just process everything. Are you busy tonight?” I ask
“No, come over. I have some pictures and stuff to show you, I’ll fill you in on baby details and we can have dinner.” She says
“Okay. I’ll be there.” I tell her and hang up.
20 minutes later I’m at her place, and I ring the doorbell. She answers, and she looks cute.
“Hey.” She says with a smile and hugs me
“Hey, it smells good in here.” I tell her
“I’ve been cooking.” She says with a smile
I walk to the kitchen and there’s a whole bunch of paper work and pictures I can see.
“Sit down.” She says and I do.
She goes to the kitchen and grabs some plates, and set’s them on the counter. She sits next to me after.
“Well here’s all her pictures… Since the beginning.” She says
I look at all of them. All in order, all consistent. I smile. I should’ve been here for this. I wasn’t there for any of this while Le’Darice was still pregnant. A rush of guilt comes over me.
“She has a big head like you.” Kae says with a laugh. I smile at her. I forgot how much I loved her laugh.
“Hey hey hey…” I say
“It’s true.” She says
“Whatever.” I say and shush her away
“Don’t get all butt hurt now.” She says
“I ain’t. Thug life niggas don’t get butt hurt.” I tell her
“Haha, sure Chris. Sure.” She says and sets a plate in front of me.
“Enjoy.” She says and sits in front of me and eats too.
We end up just talking and enjoying eachother’s company. I remember this is how we used to be in the prime of our relationship.
“Chris?” she says
“What up.” I answer
“I know you’re with Le’Darice, and I respect your relationship. I do. But when she’s born, I hope that you and I can just spend times together. It’d be healthy for her, you know?” she says
“Of course. She’s my daughter, I’ll put her ahead of everything. I’m here for her well being and what’s best for her.” I tell her
“That’s good to know.” She says with a smile.
“Well, thanks for dinner. I should get going now.” I tell her
“Okay, but you’re welcome here anytime Chris. We’re still friends.” She says and gets up to walk me to the door.
I turn around.
“Bye Kae.” I say and give her a hug
As I’m about to back up she stops me and kisses me on the cheek. I look at her and just smile. I lean down and kiss her back, and as I pull my head back up she grabs my face and kisses me on the lips.
“See you soon.” She says and closes the door.
Did she? Did I just… Would that be cheating? Aren’t Le’Darice and I on a break? She didn’t say it, but that’s what it seems like. I just need to… I need to talk to Kimmie.
“Ty! Stop!” I say trying to control my laughter.
“Girl you know you like this!” he says and continues tickling me
“Nigga c’mon now!” I say trying to get away from him
He pulls me to him, and wraps his arms around me from the back. He knows I love this.
“Let’s go out tonight.” He says
“Alright alright.” I say
“You buzzing girl.” He says
“Oh, that’s my phone.” I say and pull it out of my pocket
“Helloooooo” I answer
“Kimmie. It’s Chris.” He says
Oh. So he’s finally decided to talk to me.
“Chris.” I say and Ty lets me go.
“I need to talk to you.” He says
“Well talk.” I tell him
“Kae is pregnant. The kid is mine.” He says
“Holy shit… Really Chris? What did Le’Darice say?” I ask
“She’s mad. She left, said she needed space. I was just over at Kae’s and we kissed. And I don’t know if that’s cheating… she didn’t really say we were taking a break… I don’t know. I need your help.” He says
“Okay, let’s talk tomorrow.” I tell him
“Thanks Kimmie.” He says
“Of course.” I say
“Bye.” He says and I hang up.
“What was that about?” Ty asks
“Kae’s pregnant Chris needs someone to talk to.” I tell him
“DAAAAAAMN.” He says
I can’t help but laugh.
“I feel bad. Le’Darice just lost her baby, and now he’s about to have a baby with Kae. His ex.” I tell him
“Damn, you want me to go with you tomorrow?” he asks
“Nah, it’s been awhile and we need to talk.” I tell him
“Aight.” He says
Chris needs to get his shit together.
Devante helped me find a hotel to stay out. It’s really nice and it’ll do just fine for a couple days.
“Are you going to be okay here?” Devante asks me
“Yeah D, I’ll be good.” I tell him
“I’m sorry about your situation. You don’t deserve anything you’re going through.” He says as he puts his hand on mine. I slowly pull away and play it off with a smile.
“It’s fine. I’ll get through this.” I tell him
“So he kicked you out?” he asks
“NO, no. I left. I just needed to think about some stuff. Prepare myself for this.” I tell him
“Makes sense.” He says
I nod okay.
“Just know that I’m gonna be here for you. DC. We’re still friends, and I still want to be part of your life if that’s okay with you. You’re really the only person I got now.” He says
“yeah.. yeah I don’t see anything wrong with that.” I say and he hugs me.
I’m taken by surprise but I hug him back.
“Thanks Le’Darice.” He says
“You’re welcome.” I respond
I don’t see anything wrong with this. We’re just friends. I haven’t done anything to show that I’m unfaithful. Chris is still my boyfriend. And I still love him with all I’ve got.
Since Chris wanted a DNA test that’s just what I got. There’s only a .1% chance this baby isn’t his. I know he’s happy with his girl right now. I‘ve seen and read everything online and in the magazines. It seems that a lot of people like their relationship…but they don’t understand of all the girls in the world, why her? I know why, I know exactly why. Chris is playing a game. Now that I think about it, I should talk to Kim. Tell her about my situation and see what’s Chris real intentions.
To be honest, I want Chris back. I’m not going to be all ratchet and do the most to get him back though. I want a family, I do. But, if Chris isn’t able to do that… I don’t know. I’m waiting for him in the studio, so I can give him these papers, but he’s late. I’m hungry as hell too. Being pregnant makes me ten times hungrier than I was when I wasn’t pregnant.
I was about to call Chris, but he walked in just as I was about to.
“Sorry, I’m late. I brought you some food though.” He said handing me a Taco Bell bag
“Oh, thanks.” I say
He’s always been so sweet, no matter how mad he was.
“Alright, let me see it.” He says
I hand him the brown folder. He opens it and looks through it. I know when he sees it. His face drops, and he plops down on the couch and starts shaking his head.
“I told you.” I whisper looking down
“Damn! How am I going to tell Le’Darice.” He says
“Don’t tell her.” I simply say
“What do you mean don’t tell her?” He asks
“Don’t tell her that I’m pregnant with your baby. Just tell her we’re friends again. I mean almost seven months? I don’t think she’ll question if she’s yours.” I tell him
“I can’t just keep it a secret from her.” He says
“Well then you figure out how to tell her.” I snap
“Kae…” He says
“I’ll invite you both to dinner. Try and be cordial with your girl. Be surprised to see and know that I’m pregnant. Don’t act nervous.” I tell him
“What? Are you serious?” He says
“Yeah, I’ll call your place later. Make sure she answers.” I tell him
“Damn, are you sure about this?” he asks me
“I’m positive.” I answer
“Alright, well I have to go now.” He says
“Me too, thanks again for the food.” I say
“You’re welcome. Update me on her though please?” he says looking at my stomach
“I will.” I say
“I’ll walk you to your car.” He says
We leave the studio and walk out to the back where we both parked. He leads me to my car and opens the door for me, I get in, he closes the door and waves bye.
This will work.
I’m at the house with Momma J waiting for Chris to get back from wherever, and we just get to talking.
“You love him, don’t you?” Momma asks
“Of course. It still feels like a dream, as cliché as that may sound… It’s true though. I never thought this could ever happen, and we’re strong right now. He makes me so happy Momma.” I tell her
“I’m so glad to hear that. I’m happy that you two aren’t letting anything get in between you.” She says
I know what she’s talking. I’ve been reading what people have been saying about Chris and I’s relationship. More about me though. Shit talking. Some things kind of hurt, but I’m starting to learn to shake it off and move forward.
“Me too.” I reply
“You don’t know where my son went?” She asks
“No, he told me he’d be back in a little while” I tell her
“He doesn’t do this all the time does he?” she says
“No-well, yeah he does. But it’s only for short periods of time, he’s always back in time.”
“He shouldn’t be leaving you here alone.” She says
“I’m fine Momma. I understand he has business to take care of.” I tell her
Right after I said that Chris walked through the door.
“Hi Chris.” I say looking at him, he looks tired.
“Aye.” Is all he says to me and walks up the stairs
“Chris, what about Momma?” I say. What is with him?
“Oh, shit. Sorry. Hey Momma.” He says
“Chris what is wrong with you.” She immediately says
“Nothing Momma, I’m just tired, that’s all.” He says
I shake my head. Why does he lie like that?
“I’ll go then.” Momma says
“Momma, no, you-“
“It’s fine Le’Darice. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She says and hugs me goodbye
I run up the stairs to Chris.
“Chris, what was that? Did you see your Moms face?” I say. This isn’t like him.
“I need to tell you something.” He says
“What…” I say
“Kae’s pregnant.” He says.
My heart drops.
“Kae… is pregnant? By you.” I state
He nods yes slowly.
“I … congratulations.” I say
His head shoots up at me.
“Congratulations?” He says
“You get your chance to be a father now.” I tell him
“You don’t mind?….” He says
“No. I don’t. Don’t you see? Kae is trying to use that to break us up. Nope. I’m smarter than that.” I tell him
“But you’re okay with it? Really?” he asks
“Yeah.” I tell him
“Don’t lie…” he says
“I didn’t say I’m not mad. Shit. I’m pissed. But I’m okay with it.” I tell him
“I… She’s seven months pregnant.” He tells me
My body freezes. Seven months. I was with LT… While I was gone?
“While I was gone… you… and her?” I say trying to piece it together.
“I’m sorry.” He says
“Well thanks for sharing that with me.” I tell him
“Le’Darice..” He says
“I’ll be back.” I say and walk off
I walk. I don’t even pay attention to my surroundings. I just walk and keep walking until my lungs hurt. Of course this would happen. I lose my child, and Kae’s ass gets one? I don’t understand God, why would you put me in this position, let alone this situation. I’m so hurt, not only hurt but jealous. I can’t have a child, period.
My phone starts vibrating off the hook, and I check it. It’s chris. I don’t answer. I love Chris, I love him so much. And I want our relationship to be strong, but this might tear us apart. I catch a taxi and hop in it.
“The prison, please.” I tell the driver
It’s time to talk to LT.
I was at the prison, talking to my brother for the first time since he basically went crazy. I was sitting at the table and saw him come out.
“D?” He mouthed when he looked at me
I nodded yes, and he walked over to me.
“How are you doing brother?” he asks
“I’m good. How are you? You’re the one in prison.” I say
“It’s hell in here. But I deserve it. Have you talked to DC yet?” he asks me
“No…. I haven’t had the courage to make any contact with her.” I tell him
“Well you should. She’s pregnant D.” He says
“What?” I say
“By me.” He says
“LT, are you serious?” I ask him
“I know, I’m sorry. But she said she was going to find you. She wants you to father our child.” He tells me
“Me? What about Chr-“
“Don’t.say.his.name.” LT says through his teeth
“Well what about him?” I ask
“He doesn’t want that baby, he’ll be reminded of me everyday.” He says
“I don’t know…” I’m caught off guard by a recognizable face.
“Le’Darice?” I say out loud
LT looks back, and when she sees both of us her eyes widen.
“DC!” LT says and bolts up
I put a hand on his shoulder and tell him to sit down. She slowly makes her way over to us, and sits away.
“I can’t believe this.” She asys
“You two….” She says
“Le’Darice.” I say and she jumps at her name
“Devante..” She says
“Yes.” I say with a smile
“I don’t get it…. Why not be your own person?” she says
I can tell she’s distraught about this.
“LT liked games.” I simply said
“DC, how’s the baby?” LT asks her
She glares at LT.
“I lost her. Weeks ago.” She tells him
I can see LT’s face change with flusters of emotions.
“What happened.” He says
“I fell down the stairs at the house.” She says coldly
We both cringe. We are definitely brothers.
“DC…” LT says moving closer to her
“Don’t come near me.” She says
“Why are you here?” I ask
“I came to ask your brother, how does it feel to ruin someones life?” she says and turns to him
He looks at me then at her.
“What do you mean?” he says
“I can’t have children, I lost the only thing that could’ve been another me in this world. My boyfriend knocked up some bitch because I was locked up with you. Am I supposed to be good about all this?” she says
“I’m sorry.” He says
“NO. You actually both of you ruined this for me.” She says
“Me?” I say shocked she’d even say that
“Chris told me. If it was you I was falling in love with why’d you let him have me? Why’d you give up on me? Why didn’t you fight for me!” She let’s out’
“LT is crazy, I was weak. I thought he’d actually hurt you and he did. Either way now I realize you would’ve been hurt. You’re right though, if I would’ve fought. It’d be me and you balling right now.” I say
I see her face soften up. She knows who I am now. She can sense the difference.
“It was you all along. All the nice things, all the gifts, and the time… it was you.” She says and shakes her head
“And all the heart ache, and pain, and misery.. that was you.” She says and looks at LT.
“Darice, I’m sorry.” I tell her
“I need to go now.” She says and gets up and bolts for the door
“Wait!” I call out
“D come back and see me.” LT says
I nod okay and run out the prison.
I see Le’Darice looking for a taxi and I become bold.
“I’ll take you home.” I say
“No, I’ll wait for a taxi.” She says
“No. you know me. I know you trust me.” I say
“I don’t even know you.” She says
“You do, don’t deny it.” I tell her
“I can’t.” she says
I put my hand out to her.
“You can. Just come on.” I say
She looks at me, and then at my hand. I see her hand slowly come up and when she finally puts her hand in mine, it’s like we go through a time warp, and she smiles at me. A smile that shows, I know you.
A genuine smile.
I didn’t want to go back to the house. I didn’t want to tell Le’Darice. I feel like I’ve betrayed her. I’m fucking stupid, that’s for sure. I don’t even know how to let the words run out of my mouth. Of fucking course Kae would do that. She’d wait six months? She knows damn well she should’ve told me that she was pregnant. I want a DNA test too, I’m not having this shit mess me and Le’Darice up. Actually, we should get that done before I even mention anything to Le’Darice.
I got to the house and slowly walked in. Not trying to make so much noise. I walked up the stairs to the room, and saw that DC wasn’t there. I went back to the kitchen where Momma was.
“Where’s Le’Darice Momma?’ I asked
She looked up at me. “In the room, where she’s been all day.” She answers
“She’s not in there” I say
“Well she’s somewhere in this place Angel, just look around. She hasn’t left I promise you.” She says
I nod okay, and begin my search. I check the studio, the garage, the guest rooms, and even my private room. Not there. What, where could she be then? I start walking to the kitchen to ask Momma again, but then I remember the place I forgot to check. I walk to the back and see her sitting crisscrossed in the grass. I walked out and sat next to her.
“Hi baby.” She says to me
I’m surprised, this is the most she’s said to me in two days.
“Hey.” I say putting my arm around her pulling her close to me
“How are you baby?” She asks
“I’m good, been at the studio.” I tell her
“Aw, you work so hard Chris.” She says
“I have to provide for those I love.” I say
“You don’t have to provide for me, we both know I can take care of myself.” She says
“C’mon don’t be like that.” I tell her
“I’m not being any way, just stating facts baby.” She says
“Why are you in such a good mood?” I ask her
“I don’t want to be in a funk Chris. I want to enjoy life, my baby wouldn’t want me like this. And I believe that she’s in a better place.” She tells me
I smile. I’m so happy she feels this way.
“Then why are you out here?” I ask
“Why not?” She says back
“Shouldn’t you be in the kitchen singing and throwin down?” I ask
I see her mouth drop and she looks at me.
“Ha, funny. I don’t think so.” She says
“I think very so Ms.” I say back
“Nigga hold up, don’t you owe me some fried chicken?” She suddenly asks.
I guess I do, Kim was mad at me.
“Can’t we just go out to eat?” I say
“Lazy.ass.” She says
“C’mon let’s go out, we haven’t done anything real couple like since NYC, remember?” I ask
A smile immediately came across her face. She remembers.
“Alright, you got me. Invite Momma too though.” She says
“What for?” I ask
“She’s your Mom, she’s here… We ain’t just going to leave her Christopher, how rude.” She says all smart.
“Okay, let’s get up out of this grass and get ready then.” I tell her
She gets up and I start to walk but she grabs my hand and pulls me back.
“Whoa wha-.” She cuts me off by kissing me. It was soft and her lips tasted sweet. I definitely got her back.
After I kissed Chris, he couldn’t stop smiling. It was creeping me out to be quite honest. But I’m glad he’s happy. Cause I know I am. I think it’s safe to say that he and I are good. We’ll make it.
I went upstairs and decided to maybe find something nice to wear. Ha, who was I kidding… God, why did I even agree to this dinner? The last thing I need to be doing is eating anyways. What I need to do is hit the gym, like hardcore hit the gym.
I settled on some leggings, a white layered tank, denim jacket to go over it, and my uggs. It wasn’t ugg weather really, but it was rainy so it was legit enough. I walked into the bathroom and was surprised that all my shit was nicely put on one side of the two sinks. Did Momma do this? Or Chris? Probably Momma. I turned on my flat iron to get my hair to settle down, and it helped me look less of a mess. Some mascara and lipgloss applied, and just looked at myself.
Why does Chris even want to be with me? I love him, I do. But I think I know him more than he knows me. Like now, I know something is bothering him. He’s nervous. I can tell in his face, even though he forces a smile. I sighed and walked back out to grab my clutch and phone.
It’s a new day. Emerald would want this. Emerald, which is what my daughter would’ve been named when she was born. My Mom’s favorite gemstone was the Emerald, and she thought the color was beautiful and strong. I wanted my baby girl to be beautiful and strong, so therefore it fit. I smiled at the thought.
“Why you smiling for?” Chris suddenly appeared and asked
“Just thinking, you look nice Rissy.” I say
He gives me a funny ass look.
“What…” I say looking down at what I was wearing.
“That’s what Kimmie used to call me.” He says with a laugh
“And what, she doesn’t anymore?” I ask
“Kimmie and I … We’re not seeing eye to eye right now. It’s complicated.” He tells me
“Well, when you’re ready to talk about I’m here, all ears for you.” I say
“Thanks,” He says and kisses my forehead “You smell nice, ready to go?” He asks
I nod yes, and we walk downstairs. Momma is looking beautiful as always waiting for us at the bottom.
“My angels.” She says and smiles at us
“We all good, can we go? A nigga hungry here!” Chris yells
I smack him on the arm.
“Don’t be using that language around your Mom Chris!” I say to him
Momma J s nods and smiles at me, and then turns to Chris and gives him the “You know better.” look.
“Sorry Momma.” He says and puts his arm around her and start walking out. I walk behind them and think about how much I miss my Mom. I love that Chris and Momma have such a good relationship, and I hope I never cause any friction in that. I respect Momma J so much, she’s so supportive of Chris in everything he does.We walk to Chris’ new black Range Rover he got, and he opens the front passenger door for me.
“No, Momma you sit up front.” I say with a smile
“It’s fine angel, I’ll sit in the back.” She tells me
“I insist Momma,” I say with a pleading look
Chris was looking so fucking good, I didn’t know if I could make it the whole ride next to him being able to look but not touch. She smiles, and gets in. C hris closes the door and right as I’m about to open mine he stops me.
“What, you don’t want to sit by me?” He asks
“I do, but I have the urge to touch you, and I don’t want to be saying anything inappropriate in front of your Mom.” I tell him
A goofy ass smile appears on his face. He opens the door for me and I get in. He goes around and gets in and we’re on the road. I don’t know where we’re going but I see Chris looking at me from the mirror. I stick my tongue out at him. After about a 20 minute drive, we’re at this building. It looks like a house, but it looks like it could be something else too.
Chris gets out, and Momma starts to talk to me.
“I think this is going to be a very special dinner Le’Darice.” She says
“Why do you say that Momma?” I ask
“You’ll see.” She simply says
I don’t know what’s going on, but I do notice some paparazzi which started to freak me out a little bit. They seriously didn’t think I could see them behind the bushes and trees. People do this for a living? Just follow celebs around and take pictures of their personal life. That’s tough. Chris came around and opened the door for both of us.
“Thank you.” I say as I grab his hand
Momma lets us walk together this time and she walks ahead. I hear clicking sounds, cameras of course. Damn.
“They think they slick too.” Chris says
“They don’t ever take a break do they?” I ask
“Sadly, no.” he says and we continue to walk in
As we enter, I see a huge chandelier, beautiful floors and walls, not only that but beautiful people. Like, really beautiful people.
“What is this?” I ask him
“My private club house.” He says
“What, I never hear- oh private. I got you.” I tell him
“This place is beautiful, you own all of this?” I ask
“Ty owns 30%. But everyone comes here just for whatever. It’s top notch.” He says
“How many rooms?” I ask
“60. 60 big ones. This is for the big dogs.” He says with a smile
I laugh. He leads me to a huge dining area, and I’m in awe.
“ Is that Keeis, Robb, Hood, Red, and Aaron over there?” I say nodded my head to the middle of the room
“Damn, you know them and I ain’t even introduced you yet!” He says
“In case you forgot, I’m Team Breezy, and I was always Team Breezy. I know these things.” I tell him
“Oh, but now you’re really on my team so let’s go.” He says pulling my hand
When we get to the table, my nerves are shot. What if these niggas didn’t like me?
“Damn Chris, took you long enough!” Keeis says
“My bad, my bad.” Chris says putting both his hands up
I’m standing there awkwardly and Chris turns to me and smiles.
“Alright niggas, I want you to meet Le’Darice. My girlfriend.” He says with pride.
“Hey guys, Keeis, Rob, Hood, Red, Aaron.” I say and nod to each of them
“Boys get up and hug her, don’t be rude!” Momma suddenly says, she’s staring at them like they’ve lost their minds.
They all get up and come to me to give me a lil hug. I smile and Chris and I sit down.
This probably will be a good dinner.
After dinner when my niggas left, I took Momma to her place and then it was just me and my Le’Darice.
“I had a really good time tonight Chris,” She says “I’m glad you’re comfortable enough to have me have dinner with not only your close friends but your Mom too. It means a lot.” She continues
“Well I love you, and I don’t want you to be a secret. I really forgot that they didn’t even know we were together, and I felt bad.” I tell her
“It’s fine, I understand.” She says
“I want to take you somewhere, you down?” I ask
“As long as you’re with me, I’m down.” She says
I decide to drive to El Matador beach. The sun hasn’t set yet, but when it does it’ll be perfect. When we got there Le’Darice looked at me all surprised.
“The beach?” She asks
I nod yes. We both get out and walk to the sand.
“It’s so calm here, and beautiful.” Le’Darice says
“Reminds me of you.” I tell her
“Chris, you’re something else boy.” She says
“What do you mean?” I say
“I’m convinced that the only reason you’re with me is because of my personality. I’m not that pretty.” She tells me
“You are, and you’ll believe you are one of these days.” I tell her
“You’re the sweetest nigga I know.” She says and hugs me
“Why thank you, I know.”
We both sit in the sand, and Le’Darice lays her head on my shoulder.
“I’ve dreamt of moments like this.” She tells me
“I’m glad I can fulfill them.” I say
“Chris, tell me something.” She says
“What is it?” I ask
“Back when I first met you, at the meet and greet… Why were you so aggressive towards me? Like, why did you seem so interested in me, so quick? It was unreal.” She tells me
Because I wanted to use you to improve my rep. I thought. Kimmie immediately popped into mind.
“Tell her the truth, that’s when I’ll believe it.”
The truth would kill her.
“Honestly, it’s because you came in with LT, and he was so defensive from the jump. Not a lot of guys go with their girls to meet me. And I liked you aura, and what you was wearing, you looked fly.” I tell her, that’s part of the truth actually. I did feel that way.
“Chris.” She says with a laugh
“Listen to me Le’Darice.” I say
She lifts her head up and looks at me. Worry fills her eyes.
“No matter what anyone says about me, or you, or even us…Promise me… promise me that you won’t give up on me. Promise that you’ll stick around, even if I do make dumb ass mistakes. I’ve lost you enough already, and I’m done with that. I just want it to be you and me. No matter what anyone does.” I tell her
Her eyes fill up with tears, and as the tears fall they glisten because the sun set glows towards us.
“Christopher Maurice Brown, I promise. I promise I’m here for you, and I promise you that I’ll never give up on us. And definitely never give up on you. I love you.” She says
I help her to her feet and hold both of her hands and kiss them. I reach to my back pocket and pull out the little black box. I hold it in front of her and her eyes widen.
“I know it’s too early for an engagement ring, but this is so any other nigga knows you’re taken.” I say and open it up to show her.
“An infinity ring?” She says with a smile
I nod yes, and put it on her ring finger. She looks at it and starts crying, the tears wouldn’t stop. I pulled her close to me and she eventually stopped. She looked up at me and kissed me softly on the lips.
“I love you Chris. Let’s try and make this a forever.” She says
I kiss her back, and hug her tight.
Waking up in the hospital once again. I’m really getting tired of this shit. I wanted to open my eyes but couldn’t, I felt so tired. I could hear voices though.
“This is all my fault.” Dad?
“You said you didn’t mean to.” Chris said
“But I was so mad, there’s no excuse for my actions. She’ll think I meant it.” He continued
“She’ll forgive you.” Chris said
“Then why do I feel like I killed my grandbaby?” My Dad said
What? My daughter? I tried to move my hand to my stomach. Slowly but surely.
“Le’Darice?” Chris said and grabbed my other hand.
I finally gathered the strength to open my eyes. I felt my stomach and I knew. Tears started to fall.
“Really?” I said
“Le’Darice, baby girl I’m so so sorry.” My Dad said
I looked at him and knew he was sincere. His eyes were red, I could tell he’d been crying. How could I not forgive? He was my Dad, he wasn’t trying to hurt me… He was trying to protect me, even if it did hurt. And he has cancer? I don’t even know how bad it is, I can’t and won’t waste time. I reached out and touched his hand.
“It’s okay Dad, I forgive you.” I said
His face lit up a bit and he walked to me.
“I really am sorry.” He told me.
“I know.” I replied
“Your Mom would be so disappointed in me.” He says
“Did she know?” I asked
“No, I didn’t have the strength to tell her.” He replies
I hold his hand, “It’s okay, she’d be happy we’re okay now.”
“I’ll leave you two alone.” He says and nods at Chris.
“Chris… My baby.” I cry
“Shh, shh. It’s okay.” He says holding me.
“How could this happen?” I say
“Let’s go see her.” Chris says
“Yes, let’s go. Please.” I tell him
He rolls the wheelchair to me and lifts me into it. He’s stronger than I thought.
He rolled me down to the end of the hallway, and into a room. He helped me up and I to the little cart. I lifted the sheet and there she was. I can tell she would’ve looked more like me than LT. She wasn’t complete, but she was still my baby.
“Our daughter would’ve been beautiful.” Chris suddenly says
I’m shocked by his words.
“Our?” I say
He came behind me.
“When the doctor said you’d lost her, I felt this pain I wasn’t expecting to feel. I guess she was growing on me.” He replies
I smile and squeeze his hand. “Better late then never.” I say
“Your Dad wants to make all the funeral arrangements.” He tells me
I nod yes.
“What’s wrong with him babe?” he asks
“He has cancer, I don’t know how bad it is, or even what kind… I don’t want hate him anymore.” I tell him
“Well, he finally approves of me. It should be easier.” He says
“I hope so.” I say
“Let’s go back, you need to rest.” He says.
He brings the wheelchair to me.
Till later baby girl.
Le’Darice has to stay in the hospital; overnight, so I decided to stay too. A part of me is happy that I get all of Le’Darice back, but that the loss of a baby was the result. Shit. If she was carrying my daughter… It’d hurt even more. In the back of my mind I know I could never get her pregnant. I know the result of that.
We’re laying in the hospital bed watching music videos, just enjoying each-others company when Rihanna’s We Found Love comes on.
“She tryna be slick and say that’s not you.” She says
I laugh. “You think he looks like me?” I ask
“Yeah…but not as good as you. One of a kind.” She answers
“Nice answer.” I say
“You loved her Chris?” She asks
“….At one time, yes. I’ll always have love for her.” I tell her
“Would you have married her?” she says
“Why the sudden interest in Robyn and I?” I say
“I don’t know, the video just sparked it. I mean look, I remember seeing the pictures of you and her in the restaurant and it’s in this video. The chick still loves you.” She tells me
“But I love you, so that’s irrelevant.” I say
“Mhm. Good answer boy.” She tells me
“Have you talked to Kimmie yet?” She asks
“You know you ask a lot of questions?” I say
“Well I want to know if you’re going to be cooking for me. I’d prefer some fried chicken.” She tells me
“Fried chicken?” I looked at her and she was staring into space.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I ask
“I’m trying to hide it, but I’m hurting Chris.” She says looking at her hands that can’t seem to stop moving.
“I’m sorry, I guess that’s why you were asking so many questions.” I say as I put my arm around her to pull her closer to me.
“It just feels like I have all my life to live now, but I’m borderline with her. She would’ve been born into this cruel world, and I wouldn’t have been able to protect her. She wouldn’t have a mother and that’s so unfair. But then, she’d make the best out of life most likely, and not have to go through all the shit I’ve been through.” She tells me
“Are you not happy or satisfied with your life?” I ask
“I don’t know.” She says. I’m shocked by her answer.
“I have you in my life, and I love you. And your Mom. Positives. But then I have so many issues with myself that you don’t know about, and it just effects my way of thinking, and everything else. Negatives.” She tells me
“I love you, too. What issues though?” I ask
“Not now Chris.” She says
I nod okay, and it’s silent for a while.
I want to know how and what she’s feeling. You want the person you’re with to be happy, if they ain’t happy, shit, you ain’t supposed to be happy either. I wish I could pull her out of this sadness, but I don’t know what to do. I look over at her, and she fell asleep. I slowly get up and decide to call Kim and see what’s up. I walk out and dial her number.
She answered on the 5th ring.
“Hello.” She simply said
“Kim, what’s going on? Where you been? I haven’t heard from you in weeks.” I tell her
“I’ve been busy.” She answers
“Busy with what?” I ask
“I’ve just been spending my time with Ty.” She tells me
“No, because he’s seen me and Le’Darice a couple times over the last weeks, and you were nowhere to be found. Now stop playing, what’s really up?” I ask
“This isn’t a conversation for the phone.” She says
“Okay, so what? You want to have lunch tomorrow?” I ask
“Yeah, the place.” She says
“Okay 2PM sharp Kimmie.” I tell her
“Alright, tomorrow, bye.” She says and hangs up.
Damn, I didn’t even get the chance to say bye. I went to Le’Darice and sat next to her. I guess I’m going to have to cook for you, I thought. I honestly didn’t think she was mad at me till her tone during that call. I guess we’ll see what tomorrow brings.
I hung up the phone not waiting for Chris to respond. I have mixed feelings towards him right now. A part of me is happy that he finally decided to see what was up with me. Another part is mad because he took so damn long to. How can I blame him though? He was busy dealing with Le’Darice’s pregnancy, and just building their relationship back up.
But I’m still his best friend. I still deserve time with him. No, I’m not jealous. No, I don’t want to be with him anymore, I love Ty. It’s just there’s some thing’s I don’t feel comfortable talking about with him but Chris already knows about them so it’s all good. But when he’s gone or busy, what can I do? Deal with it most likely.
I think I’m finally going to ask him if he’s 100% serious about Le’Darice, or if this is just one big act to make it seem so real to the media. Because if so he’s doing fantastic. I just want to know if it’s going to end soon because I want my Rissy back.
I was sitting on the steps watching Ty get ready for the club, I decided to stay, I wasn’t in the mood. He looked at me and frowned.
“I’m just going to stay in.” he says walking to me
“What, no, don’t stay just cause I’m here. Go have fun with the boys.” I tell him
“It’s not fun if I don’t see your pretty face there.” He says putting his finger under my chin.
“But you look so good, you can’t waste that fit staying in with me.” I say
“Go, I insist.” I continue
“No, I want to talk to you anyways let’s go.” He says and grabs my hand.
He leads me upstairs to the bedroom, and we sit at the edge of the bed.
“Yes?” I say
“What’s up with you and Chris?” He asks
“What? Nothing, I’ve been spending all my time with you.” I say
“Don’t lie, I’ve been over to Chris’ place a couple times and you didn’t go with me.” He tells me
“What’s really going on? The real fucking reason too.” He snaps
I didn’t know he was this concerned.
“Okay, I know I shouldn’t tell you about this, but I love you and I don’t want to be keeping shit from you.” I tell him. He nods.
“Remember when Chris first met DC?” I asked him
“Yeah, yeah, Chris said at his charity concert.” He responds
“Okay, well do you think she’s his type?” I ask
He thinks for a minute.
“To be honest, not really. I love DC that’s my thug, but I didn’t expect Chris to ever go for a girl like her.” He says
“He should still be with Kae.” I tell him
He looks over at me, shocked and confused.
“What, why? I thought you hated her by the way.” He asks
“I do, but they should still be together.” I say
“Explain this to me Kim, I don’t understand.” He says squeezing my hand.
“Chris agreed to date a “different” kind of a girl. The one he wouldn’t usually go for to improve his rep. So like people would think “Oh, he’s not that self-centrered monster we made him out to be.” And we both know he isn’t that way, but he had to prove it to the bitch ass haters he wasn’t.” I rant
“But how, why would he even agree to that shit? Does Momma know?” He asks
“Yeah, she knows. She didn’t approve but she let him handle his business.” I say
“But that can’t be the case now Kim, he’s been through so much shit to be with her.” He tells me
“He’s an actor. He may be trying to make it more believable and real, and just not tell us about it. But im his best I know better.” I tell him
“Yeah, so shouldn’t you believe in the positive and good in him? And not the fact that he may be playing this girl?” He said
Shit. He was right. But I still want to know.
“Yeah, I do believe that. But in the event that, that isn’t the case, it’s not fair to DC. Her Mom died so they could be together, maybe Chris feels guilty.” I tell him
Ty doesn’t know what to think. I can tell.
“Thank you for talking with me.” I say and kiss him, trying to cheer him up
“No, thank you for finally letting me know what’s up. I’m glad you trust me.” He says
“It’s not that I didn’t trust you, I just didn’t want you to think badly of Chris.” I say
“Aye, it’s cool. He’s been through a lot, and people give him so much shit and only pay attention to his wrongs then the good he does.” He tells me
“I’m so lucky to have you.” I say laying in his arms
“Not as lucky as I am to have you Kimmie.” He says
He’s brought new things to light here. Am I wrong for thinking this way about Chris? But how am I supposed to know? He barely shares anything else with me anymore either.
I left LT to think. I don’t know what he’s talking about, saying I can’t give her to his brother. I need to talk to him soon too. I’ve never formally met him. As Devante, that is. I walked to Chris’ car and he looked nervous.
“Are you okay?” I asked
“Yeah, are you okay? Did he touch you? Did he try anything?” He asked
“No, I just told him, and he tried to stop me from giving he- the baby to his brother.” I tell him
“Wait, when did you make this decision?” He said
“When I was talking to him, who else? I know you don’t want to take care of a baby, I don’t want it to jeopardize your career.” I say
“Don’t try and make me feel guilty.” He says
“I’m not trying to make you feel guilty! I’m serious! I care about you and that’s why I don’t want to place a burden upon you.” I tell him
He puts his hand on mine, “I’m sorry, can we just stop fighting about this?” He says
“I don’t want to fight about this Chris, I don’t.” I say and start crying
“Whoa, why are you crying?” He asks
“I’m so stupid Chris, what’s wrong with me? How can I do this to you? I love you, and I let you just deal with this. Why couldn’t I have really thought this through. I should’ve let this baby go.” I cry
“It’s fine, we’ll be okay.” He says
“No, no, I ruined everything.” I tell him
“Don’t even think about it. Let’s just go see your Dad and then go home.” He tells me
“I’m having a girl, Chris.” I finally say
“Really?” He says touching my stomach, this is the first time he’s ever done this.
Has the fact that I’m having a girl softened him up a bit?
“Yes.” I say
“Well now you can tell your Dad he’ll be the grandpa of a beautiful baby girl.” He says
I smile at him. I know this hurts him but he’s trying, I can tell.
We leave to my Dad’s and when we get there my heart hurts. I’ve had more good than bad memories here so it’s making me emotional. I put on a huge sweater that makes me look more fat then pregnant and walk to the door. I ask Chris to stay in the car, I don’t want my Father going into a rage.
I walk up to the door, and knock. I’m standing for two minutes till he opens the door.
“Le’Darice?” He says surprised
“Hi Dad.” I say
“Come in.” He says and leaves the door open. I look back at Chris and walk in.
“How’ve you been?” He asks as he sits at the table
“I’ve been good.” I tell him
“You’re still with LT?” He asks
“No… He’s in a jail.” I say
“I know that, he’s written me. He says you two are engaged.” He says
“No, I’m with Chris Dad.” I whisper
“You just don’t listen do you baby girl.” He says
“Why shouldn’t I be with him? He’s been nothing but good to me. I love him. And he’s taking care of us.” I say
“What do you mean us? That criminal ain’t did shit for me.” He says
“I’m pregnant Dad. Us as in me and this baby.” I say touching my stomach
“You’re engaged to LaTrey, yet pregnant with Chris’ baby? So the death of your mother has turned you into a hoe!?” He yells
“I AM NOT A HOE! GOD. THIS IS LT’S DAUGHTER!” I yell back at him
“I don’t think so, you’re a liar.” He says getting up and walking towards the stairs
“Why don’t you listen to anything I have to say?!” I yell
“Because it’s never what I want to here!” He yells back
I follow him up the stairs.
“I’ve done everything you’ve ever said! How could you want me to be with someone who constantly hurts me?!” I yell
“Leave.” He says
“Chris may have done that to Rihanna, but that was ONCE! LT did it to me too many times to even count!” I screamed
He stopped at the top of the stairs, and I stayed on the step behind him.
“Well if you didn’t go to that concert in the first place, he wouldn’t have done that. You ruined his life too Le’Darice. You don’t think he had dreams too?” He said
“Why do you always defend him!” I yell
“Because I knew he’d take care of you when I was gone!” He yelled
“What’re you talking about?” I say
“I have cancer Le’Darice. I don’t know Chris enough. I knew LaTrey and I trusted him to defend you and protect you and that’s what he did. He promised me he would, and he said he’d do anything to keep that promise!” He yells. I hear the pain in his voice.
“Dad, I’m sorry… Why didn’t you tell me? Or Mom?” I say and put my hands down his shoulders
“Don’t touch me!” He says and turns around and elbows me backwards.
“Le’Darice!” Is all I hear
Le’Darice was in there for a while, and I wanted to make sure she was okay. I got out of the car, and walked to the door and knocked. I waited and didn’t hear anything. I opened the door and just as I did, I saw Le’Darice fly down the stairs.
“Le’Darice!” I yelled
I looked up and saw her Dad with the look of complete fear on his face.
“I’ll call 911” he says and runs to the room
“Le’Darice, do you hear me?” I say
“Chr…is…my stomach…” She says in pain
I look and see all the blood, so much fucking blood.
“Shit!” I say
“This…doesn’t..fe..feel right.” She tells me
“Help is coming, it’s coming.” I say
“Why…cant..I… sta-sta-stay…out … the .. hospital?” She whispers
“Why can’t I keep you out of there?’ I say
“Make…sure..they …sa-sa-save…her.” She says
I feel this strong emotion.
“She? Daughter?” I ask
She slowly nods yes.
The ambulance got here faster than I thought. They got her on the stretcher and into the ambulance in record time. I ran behind them into the ambulance. I had to sit down because there was so much blood it was making me lightheaded. I couldn’t even manage to ask if she was okay.
“Sir are you alright?” One of the paramedics asked
I nodded yes, and pointed to the blood.
“I see, well don’t look because it’s coming on out.” He tells me
Holy shit. We finally get to the hospital and I get out to breathe. I follow behind her, and they stop me right before getting between those double doors. That movie shit.
I call my Momma as I sit and wait.
“HE DID WHAT?!” She yelled through the phone
“But I think he didn’t mean to, he looked terrified when he saw her at the end of the stairs.” I tell her
“I’ll be right there, pray Angel.” She says
“I will, hurry Momma.” I say and hang up
My nerves are shot. She’s not strong enough to give birth and live, how can she be strong enough to fall down stairs and lose all that blood?
“Chris.” I hear
I turn to see her Dad.
“Sir.” I say
“How is she?” he asks
“I don’t know, they haven’t told me anything yet.” I say
“I didn’t mean to, I really didn’t. I turned to face her and she-“
“Fell.” I said
“Please, I really didn’t mean to. I love my daughter, I don’t want to purposely hurt her, I’m trying to protect her. You can believe it or not, but you don’t know me.” He says
“You don’t know me either,” I say “Yet you don’t want me to-“
“Be with my daughter? Yes, exactly I don’t KNOW you.” He says
“But you weren’t willing to get to know me either.” I say
“I didn’t expect you to come in to my baby girls life, I thought it was going to be a concert and that’s it. You trying to be more… can you understand I wasn’t expecting that at all?” He says
“I’m sorry.” I say
I should’ve known he had his reasons.
He was about to say something until a doctor came out.
“Family of Ms.Rose?” He asked
“Us.” Her Dad said as he looked at me. Approval.
“How is she?” I asked
“She lost a-lot of blood, , an-“
“What about my daughter?” I asked
“I’m sorry, but she didn’t make it. The reason for the loss of blood. I’m terribly sorry. We removed her, and you can see her if you’d like.”
I felt this pain I wasn’t expecting to feel. I guess the baby was growing on me.
Now she’s gone. But Le’Darice gets the rest of her life back, yet, I’m not as happy as I should be.
It’s been a 2 months since I’ve been out of the hospital, and drama free. You can definitely tell I’m pregnant now. I don’t go out with Chris, because I don’t want people talking shit about him and his pregnant girlfriend. He has enough to deal with.
I’m getting ready for my therapy session, and I already know there’s going to be shit I don’t want to be talked about. I could just hear Dr. Palmer from last week.
“Next week, we’ll talk about your family.” He said with a smile
I have nothing to say about my family. I love my Mom, but she’s gone. I hate my Dad, and it’s no surprise… He hates me too. I was grabbing my purse to go when Chris rushed out behind me.
“I’ll be taking you today.” He said
“Don’t you have to go to the studio?”
“Yeah, but there’s not a specific time I need to be there anyways.” He says
“Are you going to pick me up then?” I ask him
“I’m the only one qualified to.” He said
I laughed. He doesn’t trust anyone but his Momma taking me anywhere. It’s a good thing I can drive too though, I hate depending on everyone.
“Let’s go then ugly boy.” I say
“Aye, that’s what Kimmie calls me!” he says
“Where’s Kimmie been? She hasn’t been around lately.” I say
“I don’t know, actually. She’s been ignoring me, but I don’t know why.” He tells me
We walk to the car and I continue the conversation on Kimmie.
“You mean she’s been ignoring you since I got back.” I say
“That doesn’t mean you’re the reason.” He replies
“I bet I am. Ask her.” I tell him
“I will.” He says
“And Chris,” I say “You’re cooking for me if I am the reason.” I add
“Deal.” He says
We’re driving to my therapist’s office and I decide to ask Chris what I’ve been wanting to ask him.
“You look like you want to ask me something.” He says
What? How did he know that?
“Yeah…” I say slowly
“Well?” he replies
“I want to work.” I tell him
“What for?” He asks
“So I can buy my own shit.” I say with a laugh
“Like?” he asks
“Like I want a Mac, I want an iPhone, this Blackberry ain’t my style at all. I wan-“
“I can buy you all of that.” He says cutting me off
“Chris, there’s no doubt in my mind that you can,” He stops at the office and looks at me. “But you’ve done and given me so much already. I want to be able to say I’ve done some stuff on my own.”
“But you don’t need to, I’m making this the best time of your life remember.” He says
What shade. The seven months I do have.
“I see you.” I say and get out of the car. He gets out too.
“Wait, I didn’t mean it like that.” He says
“Yes you did.” I tell him
“It makes no sense, who is going to take care of that baby?” He says
“Well now I know you wouldn’t. You wouldn’t want a part of me with you, Chris?” I ask, I haven’t told him I found out “it” was a girl.
“I…” I stop him.
“I need to go, or ill be late. I’ll see you after.” I snap
I walk off and definitely don’t look back.
“Hello Le’Darice.” Dr. Palmer says as I walk in the room.
“Hello.” I respond
“I thought you were going to cancel.” He says
“Nope, I knew today was an important session.” I tell him
“Indeed, it is. Have a seat.” He tells me
It’s silent for a moment, and then he starts to talk again.
“How’s the baby?” He asks
“I found out it’s a girl.” I tell him
“Have you told your partner yet?” he asks
“No, he’s still not very enthusiastic about this baby.” I tell him
“Have you told your father about your pregnancy?” he asks out of no where
“No, I don’t even remember the last time I talked to him.” I say
“You should soon.” He says
“Why, I don’t even stress about that.” I tell him
“You have to see the father of your baby too.” He tells me
“WHAT.” I say
“You don’t want to feel bad about them not knowing, you have to tell them. Not somebody else.” He says
“I can’t, I don’t want to face them. Especially my Father. He hates me, and the fact I chose Chris over him and LT.” I say
“He has to forgive you, and you have to forgive him too.” He says
“He put me down all the time! He said I was never good enough and that I’d never be happy or find someone that loves me for me.” I tell him
“That doesn’t matter, at least be cordial. I promise it’ll be for the best.” He says
I’m so mad I don’t even want to talk anymore.
“I think we should cut this session short.” I tell him as I get up.
“See you next week then, bring your Father too.” He says as I walk out the door
I text Chris asking him to come get me now. He replies that he’s on his way.
Maybe Dr.Palmer is right. I can go rub it in my Dad’s face. Show him how happy I am now, and how great Chris and I are doing.
I think that’s what I will do.
Le’Darice’s session ended mad early and I went to go pick her up. She was waiting outside and I couldn’t tell how she was feeling by the expression her face. I got out to open the door for her.
“Thanks” She said and I closed the door.
I got in and she started to talk.
“We need to go to my Dad’s house.” She says
I’m surprised, she never talks about him.
“What, why?” I say
“I need to squash the crap that’s been going on with us. My therapist says it’s better that I don’t regret not making things better with him. He says I should see LT too.” She tells me
“What? No. I’ll take you to your Dad’s but not to see LT.” I say
“Your Mom can take me, if you don’t want to go.” She says
“I don’t want you to be around him, you don’t know how you’ll respond to seeing him. And what’ll he think when he sees your damn stomach?” I say
“Chris, take me to see him now. LT. It’ll be quick. Like ten minutes. I just want to talk to him real quick. You can be there with me if you want.” She tells me
“Damn! Why do you have to be so stubborn!” I say
“I have some things to get done. It’s either now or later. Let’s just get it over with, please.” She pleads
“Fine. Let’s go.” I say starting the car.
This tops the shit I didn’t ever want to do list.
Fuck prison. I don’t like it in here, too many niggas. I wish my fiancé would come and see me. Yes, she still agreed to marry to me. So she’s in fact my fiancé. Fuck what everyone says. I sit in my cell and write Le’Darice another letter. I haven’t found the strength to send them to her though. It hurts. My cell mate is a bitch ass white boy. He whines and cries all day.
“Damn where’s my girlfriend?” He whines
“Shut the fuck up nigga, she was here yesterday to see your ass.” I tell him
“I miss her.” He says
“Well if you loved her you wouldn’t be in this shit hole.” I say
“What about you LaTrey. You’re in here too, your girl hasn’t been here once to see you. You write her all these letters but don’t have the balls to send them. You think you bad and shit.” He says to me
“Oh whoa lil nigga, looks whose grown some balls.” I say as I get in his face
“I’m sorry, I didn-“
“Yeah, ever get in my face again, and you’re done.” I tell him
“Sorry.” He says and sits back in his bunk.
Like I said, bitch ass white boy.
Suddenly a guard comes to unlock our cell.
“She’s here!” he says getting up
“Sit down!” The guard says
“LaTrey, visitor for you.” He says
What? But who? I get up and walk out, following the guard. I look through the glass and I see her sitting there. DC. Beautiful as ever. She’s finally here, they finally let her see me.
I went in and ran to the table. I wanted to hug her, but I sat down instead.
“DC, they finally let you see me. You look great, I’m so happy you’re here.” I say
I look at her hands on the table and notice she’s not wearing my ring.
“Where’s your ring?” I ask
She looks at me confused.
“Ring?” She asks
“Engagement ring?” I say
“LT, I can’t where that. We aren’t getting married.” She says
“What are you talking about you said you would.” I tell her
“Chris and I are together again, LT.” she says
My relaxed hands turned into tight fists.
“Why.” I say
“I need someone to take care of us.” She says
“US?” I say confused as hell
Then she stands up, and I see her belly. Holy shit.
“Wait, he got you pregnant already?!” I yelled
“Shut up LT, no he didn’t….” she says
“Then whose the nigga that did?” he asks
“This is your daughter LT.” she says
I’m caught completely off guard. My daughter?
“Wait. You’re pregnant with my ..”
“Daughter.” She says
“That’s great! That’s the best news I’ve heard since I got here.” I tell her
“Well get ready for some other news, LT.” she says
“What?” I say excited
“I’m not going to make it after giving birth.” She snaps
“Why not?” I ask
“I’m not strong enough.” She says
“What other option is there?” I say
“Getting rid of the baby WAS an option.” She tells me
“Well I’m glad you didn’t pick that.” I tell her
“I should’ve!” she yells
“What? Why are you changing your mind now?” I say
“Who is going to take care of her LT? Her father in jail, and her mother dead? What kind of life is that?” She says
“What about Chris?” I ask
“What about him! I’m killing him too, just because I’m keeping this baby, and for what? I’m so dumb!” She yells
“No, I can get out of here.” Then a look comes across her face
“Why didn’t you tell me you had a brother?” She asks
I jump at the word.
“What?” I say
“Devante? Your TWIN brother?” She says glaring at me
“How’d you…find out?” I asked
“He helped Chris find me.” I tell him
“I need to leave now, I know whose going to raise my daughter now.” She says and gets up
“No, DC, no. Not him.” I beg
“Why not, he obviously has values and morals. And people will believe that she’s her dad. You two look exactly alike.” She says and starts walking off..
“DC, you can’t give him my daughter.” I say
“You can’t do anything to stop me.” She says and walks out.
But that doesn’t mean I won’t try. I may be in here, but I know someone that’ll help me. Dear brother, that’s you. You’ll solve everything for me.
I dressed regular, The Hundreds crewneck, jeans. I’m hoping for a peaceful dinner, and not too much paparazzi. I can’t deal with all that shit right now. I’m stressed out about this baby, and I can’t help it. I just want to yell and scream just thinking about it. Hopefully going to therapy will lead some sense back in to her mind.
It was about 7:30 PM when she walked downstairs. I know she didn’t think she look good, but she does and she can definitely dress. I feel like she’s the type of girl that should’ve been on my arm since the beginning. And never Draya or Kae.
“You look amazing.” I told her
“You’re supposed to say that boy,” She says “Whether you mean it or not.” She added with a smile
“Well I mean it, whether you believe it or not.” I said
“You are something else Christopher.” She says
“Christopher?” I ask
“I like it, it rolls of the tongue nicely.” She says
“Not like Le’Darice does though.” I say and put my arm around her
“Look at us, cutest couple for sho.” She says
“For sho?” I ask
“I’m trying to talk how I used to, I’ve been talkin’ propa for too long.” She says and I laugh
“Aight, let’s get up outta here and eat then.” I say
“Leggo, I’m starvin’.” She says
We walk to the car and I open the door for her.
“What a gentleman.” She says
“As I should be.” I tell her
“How all men should be.” She says
“True!” I say in my 2 Chainz voice and she laughs in response.
I get in the driver’s seat and drive off.
“Aye, put ya seat belt on Christopher!” She says
“Right, right.” I say and click it on.
“May I turn on the radio?” She asks
“Of course, why couldn’t you?” I say
“Boys and their cars. Don’t like people touching shit ya know..” She says
She has valid point though, anyone else, I would’ve said hell to the fuck no. She turned on the radio and Elle Varner’s Refill was on. Le’Darice started dancing in her seat and started singing too.
“Can I get a refill? Can I get a refiiiiiiiiiiiiiil?” She sang
”Damn, I forgot you could sing babe.” I told her
“I don’t do it that often!” She laughed
“Well you should” I tell her
“No, I leave that to you with your fine ass.” She said as she winked at me
These are the times I want most. Laughing and joking around. Not being so serious about everything. Letting our guards down, and getting to know each other better. This is the positive parts about relationships, and it’s the shit I do like.
“Damn, how far is this place Chris?” She asked
“We’re here now, impatient ass.” I said back
She playfully punched me in the shoulder. “Jerk.” She says
I get out and give the keys to the valet. As I pull Le’Darice out of the car, suddenly there’s flash after flash.
A variety of “Chris, whose your friend?” and “And your name is Ms.?” To Le’Darice.
“The life of Chris Brown.” She whispers in my ears. We’ll definitely see that online.
“Great ain’t it?” I say and walk her into the restaurant
“Mr. Brown, we have your table waiting.”
I nod, and he leads us to our table.
“Thank you.” Le’Darice says to him
“You’re welcome.” He says and walks off
“You’re so polite.” I say to her
“Isn’t that a good thing? I could act rachet, trust me.” She says
“That for when we in the club.” I say and smile at her
“Oh boy, you’re a trip you know that?” she says
“But that’s why you find me so great right?” I ask her
“Correction, I find you perfect and irresistible.” She whispers again
“It’s sexy when you whisper in my ear like that.” I tell her
“I know, I can tell you like it too.” She grins
We order our food, and she grabs my hand under the table and starts playing with my fingers.
“Bored?” I asked
“No, I just like touching you.” She says
“I know it sounds weird, but when I was still in school and would watch your videos, I’d always wonder what it’d be like to touch you, and be near you. And look at me now, holding hands with you in public. You don’t know the feeling….” She says
“Well you sure know how to make a nigga feel good about himself.” I say to her
“Good, I should.” She says
“What do you mean?” I ask
“My Mom always told me when I found the one, that I should always make him feel like a king. Make him feel that he’s untouchable. Make him feel happy about life and his decisions.” She tells me
“I’m the one?” I ask, she’s never said anything like that before.
She’s silent for a moment.
“I don’t think there’s anyone else, I could love, as much as I love you.” She says
Chris leans forwards and kisses me. His lips are so damn soft, and I don’t want to stop. But when there’s sudden flashes in your face you have to let go.
“Aye!” Chris yells and gets up
“Chris, stay cool” I say
“Who let these guys in! Where’s your manager?” He asks
A man I assume is the manager suddenly rushes out, once all the photographers were escorted out.
“Mr. Brown I am so sorry. A waiter let them in, the photographers paid him. I’m very sorry, he’s fired, and your meal is on the house.” He says
“Okay, thank you.” Chris and sits down
“Are you okay?” I ask and put my hand on top of his
“Yeah, but you see how hard it is to get privacy when out in the public?” He says
“I see now. We could’ve just stayed at the house…” I say
“No, I don’t want you locked up in there. We would’ve had to get out sooner or later.” He tells me
“It’s fine. They don’t have nothing better to do with their lives except intrude others.” I tell him
“You calm me down so fast, it’s crazy.” He tells me
“Good thing?” I ask raising my eyebrows
“Very good thing.” He says
I’m so happy, happy can’t even describe the happiness I feel. That probably makes no sense, but it’s like amazing to see how something can be such a roller coaster ride and end up being just so relaxed and peaceful.
After we ate and laughed some more, we left. In the car we laughed, and he sang to me all the way back to the house.
“I’m going to go shower.” I say
“Okay, I’m about to move your stuff into our bedroom.” He tells me
OUR. Music to my ears. I strip and get into the shower, my back starts hurting out of nowhere and I let the hot ass water run down my back to relieve some of the pain. When I get out it still hurts, but I still manage to put on some basketball shorts and a t-shirt. I walk out rubbing my back.
“Fuck.” I say
“What’s wrong?” chris asks
“My back is killing me right now.” I tell him
“Let me give you a massage.” He says
“No, no, it’s fine. I just want to lie down.” I say
“C’mon, it’ll feel good I promise.” He says getting up
I grab his shoulders and push him back on the bed.
“Nooooo, I just want to cuddle with you is that too much to ask for?” I say
“C’mon then.” He says holding his arms out
I laugh and get under the sheets and scoot close to him. I lay on the upper part of his arm, while he wraps the rest around me. I put on leg on top of his, and look up at him.
“Why can’t it always be like this?” I ask touching his face.
“What, 24/7 cuddling” He asks
“No dummy, peaceful and relaxing nights.” I say
“If that’s what you want that’s what we can do.” He says
“You’re silly.” I say
“How?” he replies
“I mean going out is nice too, I just want to be around you in a positive atmosphere you know?” I say
“Oh, yeah, true.” He responds
“But you do like this right?” I blurt out
“Of course, why wouldn’t I?” He asks
“I know you like to party hard with ya’ niggas and such.” I say
“I’ve had three months to do that. I just want to spend some time with my girl. I have missed you, you know.” He says
“I know, I know. I just don’t want to be like holding you back from anything. I want you to have fun as well, without me sometimes. I don’t want you getting tired of me.” I tell him
“I don’t think that could happen.” He says
“Shut up, you don’t know that!” I say with a laugh
“Hell naw, you didn’t just tell me to shut up.” He says
“And if I did?” I say
“That’s cool.” He says
I bust out laughing. What a goof.
I sit up and look down at him. I smile, and start touching his face. Once I get to his eyes he stops my hands.
“Can you see it?” he says
“See what?” I ask
“How happy I am to be here with you.” He says
I grin, and tear falls from my face.
“Tears?” he asks
“Of joy.” I say and lean down and softly kiss him once more.
“I never get tired of that.” He tells me
“I know.” I say kissing him again
“Aye, don’t be messing with me now.” He say
“Messing-with-you-how?” I say kissing him in between words.
“Damn, I love you.” He says
“And I love you Christopher Maurice Brown.” I say
I lie back down and rest my arm on his chest. Just touching his body. This thing I have with touching him is ridiculous, but he doesn’t mind so I’ll do it all the time. Slowly, my eyes start closing.
“Sweet dreams, my love.” I hear Chris say, and drift off to sleep.
I can’t stop myself from crying. What’s happening? It’s funny how my overwhelming happiness, can turn into so much sadness. How could Chris even think that? Sometimes I think he doesn’t understand how much I love him. How I’d do anything for him, and don’t ever want to hurt him.
If he thinks that, he can then. I’ll keep this baby. I can’t be with someone that doesn’t even believe in me. And it hurts. So much. Why couldn’t I just die? Why couldn’t it be Joelle with Chris instead? This is too much for me to handle right now.
I grab the phone, I need to call… Fuck, I don’t even have anyone to call anymore. Except… I dial the number.
“Hello?” He says
“Matthew?” I say
“DC?!” He yells
I try to clear my throat. “Yes it’s me.” I say
“They finally found you? You’re home? Where are you? I need to see you!” He says
“I’m in the hospital, come and see me room 272. I really need someone to talk to.” I say in between sobs
“I’ll be there soon. I’m on my way.” He says, and hangs up
I’m desperate, I need comfort. I miss my Mom so much, she’d be the perfect person to talk to right now.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.
“Come in.” I say
In walks Chris, and a fire is stirred up inside of me.
“What’re you doing here?” I say
“I fucked up. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.” He says and walks closer to me
“Chris, how could you say that to me…? Do you not understand how much that hurt me? It makes me feel like you don’t know that I love you, and the fact you’d think that about me…makes it seem like you don’t care for me at all!” I cry
“No, no, no. Le’Darice, I love you. I love you so much. It just hurts me that, you’re carrying LT’s son or daughter, and-“ He stops
“Chris, why does this always happen to us?” I say
“What?” He says
“We’re happy one moment, then fighting the next? Why are we constantly hurting each other when there’s no doubt that we love each other?” I ask him
“I don’t- I don’t know.” He says
“I want this to work Chris, I do…” I say
“It will work. You can’t give up on us now.” He tells me
“But if you won’t accept this baby…” I say
“Le’Darice, you can’t have that baby.” He snaps
“Chris.” I say surprised
“I won’t lose you! I won’t lose you.” He says
“And what if this was your baby?” I say
“I’d feel the same.” I tell him
“Kill your own seed?” I ask
He’s quiet for a second.
“I couldn’t lose you.” He says quietly
“Well you take me now, pregnant and all. Or lose me for 7 more months and forever.” I say, knowing it’d hurt him but would make him think.
“Chris?” I say
“I guess I’ll make this the best 7 months of our lives.” He says, apparent tears in his eyes.
“Are you mad?” I ask
“No, I respect you and your decision.” He says as he sits down and puts his hands on his head in defeat.
I slowly get up, and walk to him. I hug him from the side, and hear his quiet sobs.
Let’s not think so far ahead.
As Chris left to get ready for me to go home, Matthew arrived.
“DC!” He said
“Matthew!” I replied
He came to me and gave me a hug. A huge smile was on his face.
“I’m so happy you’re back, and safe.” He says
“Me too Matthew.” I say
“But why are you in the hospital?” he asks
“Well…. I’m pregnant.” I tell him
His eyes open wide as hell.
“Pregnant? By..” He stops and looks at me
“Yeah, he’s the father.” I say looking down at my feet.
“It’s okay, it’s okay.” He says pulling me into a hug.
“Yeah, except for one thing.” I say
“What?” He asks
“If I have this baby, I’m not going to make it.” I tell him
“Then don’t have it, Le’Darice, what the hell!” He yells
“I can’t do it, I couldn’t.” I say
“The father of that child is a monster, you don’t want to bring it into the world!” He says
“I don’t know the fate of this baby, and I can’t assume he or she will be a monster, and you shouldn’t either.” I reply
“So you want me to just let you go through with this?” I ask
“It’s not your choice anyways Matthew, just be my friend. For these 7 more months I have.” I say
“If that’s what you want.” He says
“Thank you.” I say and hug him “Thank you so much.”
Finally, a friend.
Today is the day that Le’Darice gets to come home, and I just hope everything is good for her. I don’t want to stress her out, and I don’t want to make her feel bad. I’m mad that she wants to have this baby, but she has a point. I’d rather spend these seven months with her, then let our relationship be over then and there.
It feels like she’s choosing the baby over me, and a part of me wants to see LT, and beat the shit out of him. I wonder how he’ll feel knowing that he’s basically killed the girl he so called loves. I think I will pay him a visit. I also need to make sure that the nigga stays locked up, for life.
I waited for Le’Darice to get her, Momma insisted she pick her up. I didn’t argue. I couldn’t stand or sit still and wait. I was pacing back and forth, walking up and down the stairs. I couldn’t help but be nervous as hell.
After 45 long minutes, they finally got here. I ran to open the door, and I saw her. Her eyes look tired, but her skin was glowing. I couldn’t help but smile. When she got to me, she reached up and kissed me.
“Welcome home.” I said
“It’s good to be home.” She says
I grab her hand and walk her to the couch.
“Chris, I’m not crippled, I can make it to the couch.” She says with a laugh
“Oh, sorry.” I say
“It’s fine, it’s sweet.” She says touching my face.
Me, Momma, and her sit down at the table.
“So what’s happening with you, what’d the doctors say?” I ask
“Well, I have to go to therapy, weekly check ups, and I just need to stay stress free.” She says
“That doesn’t seem too difficult.” I say
“It seems normal, I think everything will be good now Chris.” She says with a smile
“I’m so happy for you two,” My Momma says “So you’re officially official? Together right?” She asks
I look at Le’Darice and she looks at me.
“Yes.” We both say at the same time.
She smiles at us both.
“Well I’m gonna go, leave you two alone. I’ll be back tomorrow to check on you guys, okay?” She says
“Okay Momma. See you tomorrow.” I say and she kisses me goodbye, and leaves.
“So what are we doing tonight?” Le’Darice asks
“Let’s go to dinner, it’s time to flaunt you to the public.” I say
“No… I don’t want to be flaunted. Yes, to dinner though.” She answers
“Why not?” I ask
“Chris, you know I don’t like the way I look. What will people say about you and your taste in women? I’m not up to society standards Chris.” She says
I feel guilty, thinking about the reason why we even met in the first place. “It’ll improve your reputation.”
“You shouldn’t give a fuck about what they think, they don’t have anything to do with us. I think you’re beautiful and that’s all that matters.” I tell her
She smiles. “I love you.” She says
“I love you too.” I say back and grab her hand.
“I should get ready then?” She asks
“Yes, you should.” I tell her
“Haha, okay.” She gets up and walks up the stairs.
This feels so right.
I had no idea on what to wear. Thankfully it’s hard to tell I’m pregnant, being fat covers that already. I wish that I could believe Chris when he says I’m beautiful. But it’s hard. I’ve been put down for so long… It’ll take some getting used to though.
I’m so happy that we’re going out. Going out and we don’t have to worry about anyone and anything, it’s just me and him now. It’s feels so pure and fresh. Like a new beginning. I convince myself that nothing else could happen that could interfere with us.
I keep thinking about therapy. Someone trying to get me to talk about everything I’ve been through? I try not to think about it. It’s the past now. I’m here, I’m okay, and I’m having a baby. Suddenly I think about LT, should he know about this baby? Or should I just keep him away from all of this. I hate him so much. I forgot to ask Chris about Devante… I think I will wait a while before I bring it up. I don’t want any problems right now.
“Le’Darice?” Chris says
“Yes?” I answer
“Are you ready yet?” he asks
“I don’t know what to wear! Where are we eating? I don’t know to dress casual or what.” I tell him
He comes in and hugs me from behind.
“Whatever you want, they won’t care. There’s not a dress code for me there.” He says
“I can wear sweatpants then?” I ask
“If you want.” He says
“Just kidding, I won’t embarrass you like that. I wear something simple, yet classy.” I say
“You could never embarrass me.” He says looking towards the mirror in front of us..
“I’m going to look so gross 9 months pregnant..” I blurt out
Shit. I see Chris’ face instantly change.
“I’m sorry, don’t even think about that. Let me get dressed and we can go.” I say fast
“Okay, and when we get back I’ll move your stuff to my room. There’s no reason for you to be in the guest room.” He tells me
“That sounds great.” I say and kiss him on the cheek
He flashes a smile, and walks out. I need to watch out with the baby talk, it kills him. Why am I even putting him through this? What is wrong with me?
I’m so selfish, I know I can’t let him go.
He makes me so happy.
I sat next to Le’Darice in the hospital, they wouldn’t tell us what was going on and Chris was getting too upset.
“Why can’t you just tell us what’s going on?” He growled
“Her family has to be here.” The doctor said
“What part of she has no family here, don’t you understand!” He yells
“Sir, there’s no need to yell,” He says “And according to our records her Father is still alive.
“Doctor, still, her Father is not a part of her life anymore.” I say
“I’m sorry, but if he could just come in for a second, so we can expl-“
“NO! He can’t come here!” Chris yells again
“Chris, please calm down. Let me handle this, go outside and take a breath. Please.” I tell him
“I just want to know what’s going on..” He says
“I know baby, but let me find out okay.” I say
He nods, and glares at the doctor before turning away.
“I apologize for him, he’s very stressed out.”
“It’s fine Ms.” He replies
“But really, I’m like her Mother, so it’s okay to tell me. Her father doesn’t want anything to do with her.” I tell him
“I see, but you can’t tell your son till she wakes up and knows.” He says
“Of course.” I say
“Well Ms. Rose is two months pregnant.” He says
I don’t even know what to say at first.
“Is there a problem with her… pregnancy?” I ask. Chris will be crushed.
“Well, it’s not in her best interest to keep the child.. She won’t survive giving birth.” He says
My heartaches for Le’Darice, I don’t know what she’ll do.
“So she has to make a decision on whether or not to keep her baby.” He tells me
“Oh my God, that’s horrible.” I say
“It’s a tough decision to make. I hope she wakes up soon. I’ll be back to check in on her.” He says
“Okay, goodbye. Thank you.” I say and he leaves
Chris will be devastated when he finds out. This isn’t going to be an easy situation to handle.
For the both of them.
I woke up to darkness. I jolted up and realized I was in the hospital. I turned and saw Momma J. sleeping in a chair.
“Momma J?” I said
Her eyes opened and she got up and walked to me. She grabbed my hands and spoke.
“How are you feeling angel?” She said
“I feel fine, why am I here?” I ask, just as a doctor walks in.
“I see you’re awake, Le’Darice.” He says
“Yes, is there something wrong with me Dr?” I ask
“It depends.” He says
“Explain.” I simply say
“Well, for one… You’re two months pregnant.” He says
My heart drops. Oh my God. No, no, no, no.
“I’m…pregnant?” I say in disbelief
“Yes, and if you keep this baby you won’t make it Ms. Rose.” He says
My heart starts racing, and I’m breathing fast and hard.
“Le’Darice. Calm down.” Momma J says squeezing my hand
“Please, don’t stress Ms.Rose, it’s not good for the baby.” He tells me
“And what, are my other options?” I ask
“An abortion. But that’s only an option for a 3-5 days because you’re already 2 months.” He tells me
Kill my own child? There’s no doubt in my mind that LT’s the father… I should be able to but I can’t…
“I’ll give you time to think Ms. Rose.” He says
“Okay thank you.” I say and he leaves.
“Momma, where’s Chris?” I ask
“I’m here.” He says suddenly at the door.
“Chris.” I say as he walks in
“What’s going on?” He says while getting to his knees, and kisses my hands.
“Momma, can I talk to him alone for a second?” I ask
She nods yes, and kisses Chris on the head before she leaves.
“Le’Darice… What’s going on?” He asks
Tears are running down my face, but Chris wipes them away.
“Don’t cry please. Just tell me what’s happening..” He says
“Chris, I’m pregnant.”
I immediately let go of her hands, and step back. Pregnant?
“No, no, you can’t be pregnant. This isn’t happening, is it?” I say
“Chris, come here. Please.” She says crying
“No, I can’t be close to you right now.” I say
Her face drops, as the words come out.
“Why. I don’t understand this isn’t my fault Chris.” She says
“This isn’t your fault?” I say “It is your fault! You obviously fucked the nigga when you were being held prisoner.”
“YOU’RE IMPLYING THAT I WANTED …” She started
“Yes I am.” I tell her
“How could you even say that?” she says
“Is it not true?” I say
“OF COURSE IT’S NOT TRUE! YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I WENT THROUGH THERE CHRIS!” She says as she starts crying.
“What are you talking about?” I say
“YOU KNOW WHY I’M PREGNANT NOW?! YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW CHRIS?” I yell
“IT’S YOUR FAULT! I missed you so much, I would start singing your songs out of nowhere, and he’d knock me out. He’d knock me out, and do you think I could remember what happened while I was out!? NO. I had no control of what he did. Do you really think I’d ever WILLINGLY do anything with him, after what he’s done to me and you?!” She yells
I didn’t know..
“Le’Darice… I’m sorry, I didn’t-“
“Just leave Chris, I don’t want you to be disgusted by me and this baby.” She tells me
I can’t face her, not after the shit I had just said. I left the room.
I walked to the end of the hall where I ran into my Momma.
“Chris, honey, what’s going on?” She asks
“I messed up, I really messed up…” I say shaking my head.
“What happened?” she asks
“I said it’s her fault, and she-“
“Chris, you didn’t…” She says
“I don’t know. I just really messed up…” I say
“Chris, you should’ve listened to everything she had to say first. What’d she say about the baby?” She asked
“She told me to leave, because she didn’t want me to be disgusted be her and her baby.” I told her
“So she’s keeping the baby?” She slowly asks
“I guess.” I say
“Chris, if she keeps the baby… She’ll die.” She tells me
“She’s not strong enough to carry a child for nine months and give birth. The doctor was saying she had to choose her life or the baby’s…. Chris.” She says worried.
“I have to persuade her, she can’t have this baby.” I say and run back to her room.
She will NOT have this baby.
The cops take LT off and I turn and look at Chris. He looks so good, but so skinny. We don’t say anything we just hold on to each other and don’t let go. We’ll have time to talk later. A paramedic checks me out, and I’m escorted to Chris’ jet. I’m so happy right now, but I feel hurt knowing I have LT’s Mom’s ring on. I couldn’t give it back, they wouldn’t let him keep it in prison. I took it off, and put it in my sweater pocket. I wasn’t going to disrespect his family, they never did me wrong. He did.
I sat down and finally felt able to breath. I waited for Chris, because they were talking about transportation of a wanted person. I looked out at him, and he looked so serious. I know he doesn’t want him getting away, we know he’s capable of doing it too.
When everything seemed situated Chris ran to the jet, to my seat lifted me up and squeezed me. I put my arms around him and hugged him back.
“Chris, I’ve missed you so much.” I said with tears in my eyes
“You know I’ve missed you.” He says and kisses my forehead
I step back a little and just touch his face, I can see the tears he’s trying to hold back too. I kiss him softly.
“It’s okay now, I’m here.” I say to him
He shakes his head and pulls me close to him again. I can just feel the loneliness he’s been suffering through, his hug is so firm and tight, yet it feels so soft and gentle at the same time. I don’t know how to feel. I just know that I don’t want to let this guy go anytime soon. We sit as the plane is about to take off, and I just lay my head on his shoulder and our fingers automatically intertwine. There’s this force keeping us close right now…
It feels amazing..
When I saw her, I wanted to drop to my knees. She looked the same, but beaten up a little bit. It took all of God’s strength to keep me from killing that nigga right there. Then he tries to say she doesn’t want to let go. Fuck that. But none of that matters now. We’re on our way back to LA, where we belong. We’re going to be stuck together for a while, and if people don’t like it… Oh well. I know we’re going to be the most talked about for at least a couple weeks.
I’m not letting her out of my sight. If I go to event, she’s going. I got a concert, she’s going. Bottom line is that we’re staying together. Get it? That’s why I can’t sleep. The fear of waking up and she’s gone again… I couldn’t take it. I love this girl, and I want to protect her.
Forever it is.
I don’t know what Chris’ good news is, but it better be some great news or else… Hanging up on me the way he did.. I don’t know who he think he is but he knows I hate that shit. But it’s cool. Ty and I are on the way to his crib, and Ty keeps asking me questions like I actually know something.
“You ain’t even know what this is about?” He asks
“Nope, all I know is that it’s good news.” I say
“Well hopefully it’ll be good news that improves my niggas mood, he’s been –“
“DEPRESSING to be around? I know.” I say
Ever since DC’S been missing, Chris tries to smile and laugh, and have fun. But we know he’s not. He worries too much about DC, I told him she’ll be fine, but then he gets pissed saying I don’t know what could be happening to her. I’m trying to comfort him, but I understand where his anger and frustration is coming from.
Let’s just hope he’s better now. I miss his corny and goofy side.
When we landed in LA, Le’Darice was still sleeping. I repeatedly kissed her face until she woke up.
“You’re so cute.” She said with a small smile
“We’re home.” I told her
She jumped up from her seat and looked out the window. As she looked out I saw her wipe the tears from her face.
“Tears of joy, perhaps?” I ask
“Yes, I’m so happy to be home Chris.” She says
“Well let’s go to our home,” I say and grab her hand
Big Pat opens the door for us, and we get in the car and we’re on our way.
“God, Chris. I’ve been away from large groups of people for three months… I don’t know how to act.” She says laughing
“I’m so happy to hear you laugh again.” I say
A kiss is her response.
“I’m going to need a lot of that later, just letting you know.” I tell her
“Hahaha, Chris, you’re a trip. I got you though, you fine piece of work.” She says
We get to the house sooner than I thought and see everyone’s cars out, so I’m excited to show them who I’ve brought back. We walk to the front door and I tell Le’Darice to stay right there so I can just talk real quick about what’s happened. I walk in and everyone heard the door so they’re running towards me.
“What’s going on?”
“Whoa whoa, calm down y’all.” I say and everyone simmers down
“What’s going on?” Kimmie says again
“I went to Mexico, to pick up something very important to me. I’d like to share it with you, and hopefully you’ll be happy too.” I say and smile
I look at my Momma and she’s already crying, cause she knows what I’m talking about.
I walk back out the door, and grab Le’Darice’s hand and walk in. As we do, everything gets real quiet.
“Hey everybody.” She says
“AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEE!!!!” Ty goes
Then everyone is coming to her and giving her hugs, and saying they’re glad she’s okay, and the last one to talk to her is Momma.
“My angels,” She says “I’m beyond happy God has brought you two together again.”
Le’Darice makes the first moves and hugs my Mom.
“Thank you.” She says
When Le’Darice let’s go, she starts talking.
“I’m glad to see everyone again, after three months you all look fantastic. I just want to say thank you for being here for..for..for..”
“Le’Darice?” I ask and grab her arm
Then she collapses into my arms, my heart starts racing as I stare at her, looking lifeless and gone.
”Call 911, call an ambulance! Hurry! Now!”
“So you’ll be leaving soon?” Jorge says
“Yes, I wish you could come back with me. You’ve done so much to help me.” I say
“I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t Misses.” He tells me
On the ferry, I couldn’t stop thinking about Chris.
His voice, he sounded so relieved. I knew he was worried about me. Kae must be bothering him, because he sounded so irritated when he first answered though. God, this is all unreal. When we got back to the island, I ran to the hotel. I checked on LT and he was still sleeping.
I went and showered, before I want to lie with him. But this is something I have to do. He’ll suspect I was doing something. I stopped and looked at myself in the mirror. Man, how can anyone actually love me? I look gross. This isn’t even cute. I stopped looking at myself, and wrapped a towel around me.
I slipped into the bed, and took the towel off once I was under the sheets fully covered and faced the opposite direction. I’m only looking forward to seeing my boy. It’s been too long. Finally no one will be able to mess with us. Well, except for…
Devante? A twin brother? This made no sense, how could they even pull it off. Why did he leave me with LT? What kind of love was that, if he was really the one I should’ve been with from the start, I can’t deal. I just need to stop thinking about that right now, and just focus on going home finally.
I bet my Dad doesn’t give two fucks about me being taken. I don’t know what kind of father he is…but I hope he doesn’t expect to be there during any important milestones, because I won’t want him there. Period. It may seem like I’ve had more love for my Mom, but that’s not the case. My father inspired me, he helped me grow when I was at my lowest. So did my Mom, but it seemed like my father knew what he was talking about. Then he changed, and I don’t know why.
I felt LT moving around and shifted to make myself look comfortable. I closed my eyes, when I felt him jolt up. He lifted up the sheets and I felt a cold ass breeze, and when he put it down he put his hand on my arm. I moved my body to make it look I was getting good sleep, and moved closer to me and put his arms around and smelt my hair.
Memories flooded back of me and him hanging out in my room talking, and the days where I’d cry from the stress of high school and my appearance and he’d wrap his arms around me, smell my hair, and tell me we would be okay….. But why am I even thinking about this? I should be focused on making memories with Chris, and being happy with him… Not LT or Devante.. I guess.
He had a tight hold on me, and I couldn’t even try and get some real sleep. I wonder how he’s going to react when Chris and cops get here, I wonder if he’ll suspect me, or maybe he’ll think they’ve just been working hard on finding me and caught a break. I just want this to be the end of it all.
Words can’t even express how a nigga feels right now. I don’t know where to start. I’ll finally get her back, and for good. LT will definitely be in prison, and under maximum security I hope. After I called the detectives, and they were getting a unit ready I called my Momma.
“Chris? Angel, did you leave yet?” She asked
“Change of plans Momma, I found her!” I say
“What? How!” She says no doubt confused
“She called me, she got away and called me. I know where she is. Me and a team are going to Mexico to get her in an hour!” I say
“Thank God, she’s safe though right?” She asks
“Yes, she said she’s okay, and can’t wait to see me.” I tell her
“I’m so happy angel, I’ll be at your place when you get back. I want to see her myself.” She says
“That’s fine Momma, I’ll see you later then.” I say
“Bye baby.” She says and hangs up.
I send out a text to the whole crew, saying I’m going to Mexico and to be back at the house before I get back later tonight. Kimmie calls me right away.
“Yes, Kimmie?” I say
“What’s going on, why are you going to Mexico? And why aren’t I going with?” She asks
“Damn, 21 questions. It ain’t a long trip, I’ma be back by tonight. That’s why I said be at the crib tonight. I’ve got some good news.” I tell her
“Well can I know now? I’m a little impatient.” She says
“No, be here later. Okay? Love you Kimmie. Bye.” I say and hang up. I knew she’d go on with the questions if I didn’t stop her there.
I don’t know how I’m gonna act when I see her. I really don’t. It’s been a long ass three months. I got a text from the detective saying that I could head out if I was ready. I’ve been ready I’ve been waiting for his ass.
I walked out the door knowing that with each step I was closer to being in her presence again.
I woke up, and DC was still there. See this is where we should’ve been from the jump. I’m happy, she’s happy and it’s just us living the life. I can’t believe I didn’t have to force her to fuck with me this time. Must’ve been the drinks. But I’m glad, because I don’t have to see the sadness in her eyes when she wakes up.
I got up, and went to take a quick shower. This is good. Maybe we should leave now, and we can start a family somewhere nicer then here. Maybe now we can get married. I immediately thought of something and jumped out the shower. I ran to my bag, and rummaged to all the shit I haven’t taken out yet, and there it was. The ring that had been in my family for generations. Devante is supposed to have it, since he’s “technically” older, but I’m planning on marrying first so why not.
I opened the box, and it looked brand new. We’ve always taken good care of it, making sure it was cleaned once a month, even though no one wore it. That’s how sentimental it was, and I can’t wait to give it to DC. I got dressed and went to go wake her up.
“DC, wake up…” I say softly into her ear
“Hm?” she mutters
“Get up and shower, I want to talk to you.” I say
She nods okay, and gets up and goes to the bathroom. I grab some glasses and wine, and set it on the table. The view outside was stunning and this was the perfect moment to ask her. I sat and thought about how I was going to pull the words together, and I couldn’t get the words to roll off my tongue right.
She came out, looking beautiful as always. She caught me looking, and looked at the ground. Self-conscious as always. She wore a black, white, and teal dress, and walked into the dining area. I grabbed a glass and handed it to her. As she grabbed it I sighed.
“What’s the matter?” she asked
“It’s been a beautiful day, DC.” I say
“Every day is a beautiful day in Mexico, LT.” she says
“But today is even more beautiful,” I say walking towards her “Because me and you are moving on.” I say and grab both of her hands
“What…do you mean?” She asks
“I mean, our relationship can go to the next level.” I tell her
“Um, I’m not sure what you mean LT….” She says
“This is what I mean.” I say and pull the box out of my pocket.
Her eyes open wide, with no emotion.
“Ssh. This ring has been in my family for almost 100 years DC. And I want us to be the next ones to pass it on..” I say and take the ring out
“What’re you trying to say? You wan-“ I cut her off
“Le’Darice Gabrielle Rose. Will you marry me?,” I stop “Please.” I add
She doesn’t say anything, she just looks down at me and I can’t even tell what she’s feeling. She can say no…but there better be a good ass reason. She looks out to the ocean, then back at me.
“Yes.” She says
“Yes?!” I yell
“Yes I’ll marry you.” She says
I jump up and grab her left hand and slide the ring on her finger, it fits perfectly. I smile at her, and pull her to hug me. She hugs me back and lays her head on my shoulder. Suddenly the doors fly open, and DC jumps but holds me tighter. I put my arms around her, and pull her closer to me.
In 2.5 seconds there were like 25 cops in our room surrounding us.
“LT, what is happening?!” She yells
“I don’t know!” I say, then remembering I used a cell phone to call Joelle at the prison, and they’d probably tracked it back here, wondering who it was.
“FUCK.” I say
Then out of nowhere comes Chris. This. Nigga.
“DC don’t go to him.” I say
“Okay.” She responds
Then Chris comes closer with two armed cops at his side. He grabs DC’s arm, trying to pull her from me. I want to kick the nigga in the face, but I just kept a grip on MY GIRL.
“Chris, let go man.” I say
“What other choice do you have LT. You’re surrounded.” He says
“She’s holding on to me, obviously she doesn’t want to let me go.” I tell him
Then he just grabs DC, and pulls her away from me. I go to get her back, but one of the cops grab me and puts my hands behind my back. “You’re under arrest, anything you say can and will be used against you.” He says
What just happened?
*3 Months Later*
It’s been three months, and we’ve still had no leads on Le’Darice. The effort has died down, and it seems like there’s no hope. I haven’t let it interfere with my career though. I put on a happy face, and please my fans. That’s what Le’Darice would want me to do. I was at my Queebey event last night with Robyn, and people are assuming that because we rekindled our friendship that we’re together. Yeah, I’ll always have love for her, but it’s not her who I love right now.
LT’s twin has been in Mexico on the lookout for them. I’m surprised he hasn’t seen them, but I know he’ll let me know when he does. I wish I had the time to go look for myself, but being Chris Brown that doesn’t seem to happen much. Shit, I barely get to see my Mom. But I’m glad she’s coming over today to cook for me. She says she wants to talk and that she misses me.
Around 5 she gets here with a buffet of food.
“Momma! I thought you were gonna cook here.” I say grabbing some of the food.
“No time for that when I want to talk with you Chris.” She responds
“Did I do something?” I ask
“No, no. You didn’t do anything son. I just want to see how you’re doing.” She said walking in.
I closed the door, and walked to the kitchen and sat everything down.
“Smells great Mom” I say giving her a hug
“I’ll cook for you any chance I get.” She says
I set the table for us, while she puts all the food on plates and in bowls. We bring all of the food out together and sit down.
“Grace?” She says
“Dear Lord, thank you for the food in front of us, thank you for this life, and this time that I get to spend with my Momma. A-“
“And Lord, please bring Le’Darice back to us safely, Amen.” She adds and finishes
“Momma…” I say
“Chris, I know you don’t like talking about her, but you need to. I know you haven’t been talking to Kimmie about her either, she told me. You can’t just let all of that bottle up inside you.” She says
I start putting food on my plate, thinking of what to say. Even though I have a lot, I don’t want my Moms worrying about me.
“I miss her.” I say
“Well I know that.” She says
“Momma, I could kill him if I ever see him again.” I say
She looks up at me, worry flushing through her face. Damn.
“Chris..” she says
“I won’t though, I couldn’t. I know it would hurt you and everybody else that believes in me.” I say
“Well I’m glad you recognize that.” She tells me
“I do, that’s why I haven’t dropped everything and went looking for her myself. She wouldn’t even want me to do that.” I say
“What do you want to do?” She asks
“I want to go look for her. But I promised her I wouldn’t do anything to affect my career.” I tell her
“What, you can’t vacation in Mexico?” She says
I smile. Why didn’t I think of that.
“Chris, honey. It has been three months, if you want to find her. DO IT.” She says
“I will. I think I will.” I tell her
“Good, now you better eat all this food. It’s not going to waste!” She says
“Well, I should call the guys then.” I say with a laugh
She smiles, and I’m glad she’s here.
She has gotten me to think about what I want. Time for some action.
“Chris?” She says
“Yes?” I reply
“One more thing.”
“Anything.” I say
“I hope you’re done with the whole using a girl to improve your image thing.” She says
I haven’t even thought about that. I bet that’s what Kimmie, Kae, Tina, and Ty still think I’m doing here. SHIT. I need to make this right after I find her though.
“I…” I don’t know how to answer.
“Chris, the girl has been through a-lot, once you find her, love her…or let her go.” She simply says.
I do love her, but that’s not what everyone else thinks…
“LT, here’s your food.” DC says and puts it on the table.
“Thanks babe.” I say
These past three months have been paradise. No distractions, no problems, no Chris. Just me and my baby. Which is how it should’ve been since the beginning. DC has all freedom, and she hasn’t even tried to leave me yet. I knew all this hard work would pay off.
I sat down at our table and started eating. I looked over at DC washing dishes humming.
“Whatever it is, I’m satisfied. I don’t want you to ever change… Cause, baby, you got me, and that’s not lie. I’m stay right here with my baby, and I don’t know whyyyyyy… I don’t know what it is but I love you, I love you…”
“What are you humming babe?” I asked. I noticed her jump a little bit.
“I don’t know some song I heard in the lobby.” She answers
“Oh I thought you were singing one of his songs again.” I say
“No, I know how much you hate that.” She replies
“Good, cause I didn’t want to have to explain to you again why I hate it.” I say
“I know. But I’m going to go down by that water a bit. I’ll be back in like 30 minutes.” She says
“Okay. Kiss before you leave please.” I say
She walks over to me and kisses me on the cheek, again.
“Bye.” She says and walks out.
I know she won’t try any funny shit. I’ve let her out a whole bunch of times before. She won’t betray me now.
I ran to the water where I was waiting for a friend.
“Le’Darice.” I hear a voice say
“Jorge.” I say
“I got it.” He says with a smile
“Thank god. So how does this work?” I ask
“It depends, how much do you want him out for?” He asks me
“At least 3 hours. I can go to Cancun, and get a hold of Chris and be back before he awakes.” I tell him
“Then add half of this into his drink, and he’ll be out like a light. He won’t remember it either.” He says
Tears started forming in my eyes. “Oh my god Jorge, thank you so much.” I say
“Anything for you, my lady. You deserve to be back home not prisoner here. I’ll be waiting for you at the boats at 6 right?” He asks
“Yes, I’ll be there.” I say
“Okay, ill be on my way then.” He says
I give him a hug and say thank you once again.
I’m glad I met Jorge. Not only could he speak English fluently but I could trust him, and he’s helping me get back to Chris. I’ve been waiting three whole months for this and I must say, it’s definitely time for me to go before I kill him myself.
You may ask why I haven’t, I’ve had plenty of chances to..but I can’t. I want him to suffer in prison. Death is too easy, and he doesn’t deserve an easy way out of killing my Mom, and causing Chris and I so much heartache. I almost had a heart attack when he noticed me humming Chris’ song. Last time, he was enraged, and I’m surprised he didn’t try and kill me.
Jorge has been checking on Chris on me, and filling me in when he comes to the island. I’m glad he’s good. I see that he’s been hanging a-lot with Rihanna again. I bet it’s nothing though. I’ve been keeping the articles Jorge prints out for me and keep them in this journal. I know what’s been going on with him. It doesn’t look like he misses me at all, but I told him to fake it, if anything ever did happen to me.
When I get back it’s for sure going to be just me and Chris. No one will get in between us. It’ll only end if one of us ended. I’m not giving anyone any other chance because no one deserves it but him, he’s the one I want to be with, and that’s that.
I walked back to the hotel, and was just pumped to knock him out without having to use my fists. I walked in and he looked like he was about to leave.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“I was going to join you, but you’re back now so never mind.” He said and grabbed my hand and kissed it.
“Let’s have a drink.” I suddenly say
He looks up at me, surprised.
“We’ve been together for three months, worry, and drama free. It’s time to celebrate a little babe.” I say
“Damn, alright sounds good to me.” He says
“I’ll make the drinks, I’ve been watching the bartender downstairs. I think you’ll like it.” I tell him
“You’re in a good mood though…” he says
“All I need is some air to just breathe and I’m refreshed LT, you should know that.” I say
“Right, right. I should.” He replies
I made the drinks, and while he was looking out the window, I poured the sleeping aid Jorge gave me and stirred it in. I smiled and couldn’t wait.
I grabbed the glasses and went to LT.
“Here you go.” I say
“This looks good, let’s go to the bedroom.” He says
Even better, now I won’t have to drag him in there.
“Alright” I say with a genuine smile.
He grabs my hand and walks me to the room. We sit on each side of the bed, and he just smiles at me.
He raises his glass and starts to speak.
“A toast to the best three months of my life, and the rest of our life together.” He yells
“To us.” I say and we both drink.
He doesn’t even stop with his, he gulps it down.
“Damn, you got skills.” He says
“I know.” I tell him
He starts blinking his eyes, and starts yawning… He wobbles back and forth a couple times then falls back.
I run back to the kitchen, get my vile and slip it in my pocket. I clean our glasses and go back to the room. I got to make it look like we did something… I took off his shirt, pants, and boxers. Covered him up and wrinkled the sheets up a little bit. Ways to boost his fat ego. I shuddered at the thought of having to lay with him naked when I got back just so it was believable. God.
I slipped on my flip flops and ran out the door to the dock. Jorge was there, and I was so excited to leave for the first time in three fucking months.
“You ready?” he asked me with a smile
“Let’s get the hell out of here!” I yell and we go.
I was busy packing my stuff for Mexico when my phone started ringing.
“Hello” I answered
“Chris, want to go to Greystone tonight?” Kae asked
“No, I have a flight in two hours, and I’m busy packing right now.” I tell her
“Where are you going?” She asks
“Does it matter? It’s just a vacation for myself to relax.” I say
“Damn, I wasn’t going to invite myself or anything, just want to know.”
“Yeah, right. If I told you, you’d ask to come and we both know that you would.” I snap
“So? I just like spending time with you Chris. I feel like we’re friends again.” She tells me
“Well, this is something I want to do alone. Okay? Bye.” I say and hang up
Don’t have time for her right now. My phone starts ringing again, and now I’m irritated.
“Kae, I don’t want to go. I’m leaving tonight!” I yell
“Chris.” I hear. This isn’t Kae. I look at the caller id and it says UNKNOWN.
“Hello?” I say
“Chris, it’s me.”
“Le’Darice?” I ask
“Yeah. Chris, I’m so happy to hear your voice.” She says softly
“Where are you Le’Darice? Tell me so I can come and get you now.” I say
“You have to come with back up Chris. But you can’t attract a lot of attention either. I’m on an island. Isla Mujeres. I’m staying in a hotel here with LT.” I say
“Why did it take so long for you to call me?” I ask
“I had to gain LT’s trust to leave the room, which took a month. The lobby, which took another month, and it’s the third month, and I’ve left the island. He doesn’t know though.” She tells me
“I’ll be there as soon as possible Le’Darice. I’m happy you’re okay. Joelle, wouldn’t tell me where you were going.. and she’s in prison now.” I let her know.
“Good, she deserves to be there.” She says
“And I met LT’s twin. Devante.” I tell her
“Wait, what? What twin?” she asks sounding the frightened ever
“He has a twin brother, they’ve been living as one person, LT. And Devante was the one that you basically loved. Not.. LT.” I tell her
“Oh my god.” Is all she can manage.
“But we can talk about all of this later. Let me come and get you.” I say
“Okay, there’s only one major hotel, and you’ll find it I’m sure. I can’t wait to see you Chris.” She tells me sweetly
“I can’t wait either Le’Darice. I love you.” I say
“I love you too, I have to go now. Till later.” She says
I found her sooner then I thought.
I was about to start running after her, but Ty stopped me.
“Don’t run after her, she ain’t worth it.” He tells me
“You’re right. But she knows where Le’Darice is, how are we going to find out, if she’s gone?” I ask
“Kim you’re funny, you think she’s gonna make it outta here without anyone stopping her running like that?” He said with a laugh “C’mon.”
He grabbed my hand and we walked to the front door, and there the bitch was. I laughed. Chris appeared out of nowhere, and started talking.
“What’s going on Kimmie?” He asked me
“She knows exactly where Le’Darice is Chris. She was talking to him on the phone.” I tell him
Anger flushed throughout his face, I haven’t seen him this mad in a long time. He turned away from me and walked to Joelle, his hands were in fists, and I started getting worried.
Please don’t do anything you’ll regret, I thought to myself. It’s like he heard me cause he relaxed his hands put them together like he was about to pray.
“Where is she Joelle.” He says
“You really think I’m going to tell you, Chris? When it’s you who I want, yet you want that fat bitch?” She says
“How can you say that, she was one of your best friends, she never did anything wrong.” Chris says
“Never did anything wrong? She took you from me, she even took LT away from me too. The bitch tries to take everyone I want to be with. That’s why I sabotaged every relationship she got close to being in! They always picked her, because of her great “personality”, fuck that.” She snaps
“Either tell me, or be put in jail.” He states
She looks tense and nervous but that immediately fades away.
“I’d rather be in prison, then see you two be together.” She spits out
“We’ll take her to the station Sir.” A police suddenly says
“Yeah,” Joelle says, “Get me out of here, so he can suffer.” She says with a grin
Chris walks to me and shakes his head.
“That’s a dumb broad right there Chris.” I say focusing on how hard I’m trying not to go after her and beat her ass.
But I look at Chris, and see how stressed he is. I hate seeing him like this, he doesn’t deserve it. His phone starts ringing and he answers.
“Hello? Yeah. Yes. I don’t have time for this right now. Don’t you think I’m trying? I don’t have time for this, bye.” He says then rubs his head in irritation
“Who was that?” I asked
“Tina.” He says
Oh. Shit, she’s probably on his back about losing his “rep improver.” I wonder, does he really have feelings for Le’Darice? Or is he just making it seem real to not feel so guilty about the real reason he’s with her? I want to ask him, but it doesn’t seem like the right time for that.
The subject will be brought up though.
We’re getting nowhere in this. I don’t have the patience to sit around and wait to go to Mexico, the longer the wait the worse. And now that my brother knows that I’m here to help find them both, he might just change his route.
I pray that she stays safe, and that he at least takes care of her. That’s the least he can do, after all the things he has put her through in such a short amount of time. I’m really disappointed that Le’Darice’s dad hasn’t shown up, it’s a shame how their relationship has shifted to the level it’s at now.
I’m constantly walking back and forth in Chris’ living room unable to sleep. Kimmie, Michael, and Chris have went to bed because of the early flight. When we find Le’Darice, I’m going to tell her everything, and I how I want her to come with me, and not stay in LA. All there is, is pain and hurt for her here. She has no good memoires now, because the bad ones are just drastic.
When she realizes it was me who made her happy, and it was me that asked her to even be my girlfriend, she’ll want that chance with me I know it. It was me she fell in love with, not LaTrey. Chris can’t keep me from her. I have no intention of fighting him or doing anything that my brother has done. I just want that chance, and I hope he understands and gives it to me.
I won’t bring it up until we’ve found her, and I won’t leave till she’s going with me.
I have a tornado of thoughts and feelings. The twin ending up in this picture is going to make it even harder for me and Le’Darice to be happy together. If it was him she was originally agreed to be with, then that means if she knows, the love will just be there. It’s just too confusing right now.
On the other hand, I know she has love for me. But it’s complicated. I don’t know if she’s saying it for me to get off her back, or if she really means it. But I haven’t been 100% with her either. I’m beating around the bush, and this is what happened.
When she’s back, it’s time to let everything out. I know I’ve said it before, but I don’t want her to just brush away what I’m saying. She needs to know that us is something I want. I’m done with this being for the media, and to improve my rep. If I have to we’ll leave, just us two. Tell nobody and come back when the time’s right. I’m done with the interferences. I mean it when I say I’ll give up all the fame and fortune for her. I’d rather us share it together, but that’s if life was perfect.
I wish we didn’t have to wait to fly to Mexico, we should’ve just left. But I wanted to give Joelle time to think if she’d like prison life. Maybe she’d tell me exactly where they are, so I wouldn’t have to search all over Mexico for her. I got up and walked to the kitchen, only to find Devante sitting there on the phone.
“I’m sorry but you knew I was in love with someone else.” He said
“I don’t know if I’ll get her back, but there’s a good chance.”
“I’m sorry it had to be this way. Bye.”
I tried to play it off and walk in like I didn’t just hear his conversation.
“What are you doing?” I ask him
“Nothing, can’t sleep.” He answers
“Let’s talk.” I say to him
He nods in agreement.
“When we find Le’Darice… Don’t expect her to fall into your arms and love you,” I pause. “You still have the exact same face of the guy that tried to kill me, and killed her Mom. Don’t think she can just magically adjust to you because your personality is different, cause it’s the face that’ll give her that heart breaking reminder.” I finish.
“What are you trying to say? I shouldn’t even try?” He asks
“Exactly. I know what you’re going to try and do…But it won’t happen.” I say
“Well you seem threatened, that’s why you’re telling me this now.” He responds.
Thereatened? By him?
“No, I’m not. But Le’Darice and I have a bond. She trusts, and feels safe with me.” I say
“Well you never seem to keep her safe, if you were, she wouldn’t be missing.” He tells me and then walks away.
This nigga didn’t just walk off, thinking he can just end the conversation like that. What the fuck he think this is, a soap opera?
I woke up in a car with a bad ass headache. My hands were still tied, and I knew where I was. I looked over to the driver’s side and saw LT. I wanted to yell, punch, and fight. But I was done. So done. I give up.
“LT.” I say
“Yeah?” He answers
“Please untie me.” I say
“So you can run away from me? No.” He replies
“I’m not going to run LT, I’m done. I’m all yours. Just untie me.” I say
He pulls off to the side of the road and sits in silence for a moment.
“Do you mean it?” He says
“Yes, you wouldn’t have fought for me this hard, if you didn’t love me.” I say
He gets super excited and jumps out of his seat. He grabs my hands and unties them. He watches me before he sits back down. I don’t move.
“You’re really not going to leave me?” he says
“No.” of course I’m not. I can’t run back to LA, I don’t even know where I am.
“I’ve been waiting for this DC, I have. It’s finally just us two.” He says holding my hand
“Yeah..” I reply
“Seal the deal.” He says to me
“What?” I ask
“Kiss me, so I know you’re being for real.” He says
GOD, OF ALL THE THINGS. Just imagine it’s Chris, a little voice in my head says. I close my eyes for a couple of seconds and look over at him, and there he is. My Chris. Get me through this in spirit. I turn my body to the left, slowly lean in, and kiss him on the lips.
“Good?” I say
He nods, satisfied.
I sit back, and start planning how the hell I’m going to get away. Since I’m here with no other option I better just fake it the best I can. He unties my hands and I move them around wishing I could punch him in the face. But I’m not. That’s what would get me tied up again.
“Where are we going LT?” I ask
“Mexico.” He replies
I know exactly where we’re going now. Isla Mujeres. He’s always said that after he was in the NBA and retired, he’d bring me here and we’d grow old together and blah blah blah. It’s a small island off Cancun, and he’d always be able to keep his eye on me. I’m going to have to stick around for a while, before I decided to run. I’m going to have to earn his trust.
I’ll be back to you soon Chris. I promise.
“What do you mean that makes three of us?” The twin asked
“I love her, you love her, your dumb ass brother loves her.” I answered
“Well, that doesn’t matter. I just want to find her.” He says
“Well you’re going to have to explain this whole shit fest you and your brother have going on.” I say
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. And you know the general idea about us. We lived as him. It’s like I don’t even exist.” He says
“So the one hitting Le’Darice..”
“That was not me. I was the one trying to make everything better on my days, but he can’t control himself. He has problems.” He tells me
“Yet, you continued to let him be with Le’Darice instead of telling the truth?” I asked him
“You don’t think I wanted to tell her? But I wasn’t going to when my brother was threatening everyone.” He says
“Oh, that makes sense.” I reply
“But we can talk about me another time, can we please focus on finding her? We need to sort all of this out before something bad happens.” He says
“Wait, when did you guys stop switching places with each other?” I asked
“When he started threatening to kill Le’Darice. Then I left, thinking she’d be okay because I was sure he loved her as much as I did. But then you got in the picture, that’s when he started being abusive and doing all of the stuff that led up to this.” He tells me
“Why do you sound so much more proper then your bitch ass brother?” I randomly ask
“Well I finished high school early, I’m currently majoring in English. But it’s hard to focus on that when people think I’ve murdered Le’Darice’s Mom.” He tells me
“Well at least one of you have a brain.” I say
“Okay, can we just focus on Le’Darice right now? For someone that claims to love her, you’re not very determined to find her.” I say
“Hey, he’s just determined as you are to find her. You don’t know what’s been going on, you just got here.” Kimmie interrupts
“My apologies. But can we make some progress here?” He asks
“Yeah, sit.” I say
As he sits down, I don’t even know where to start when it comes to looking for Le’Darice. She could be anywhere by now, we’re wasting too much time.
“You need to call her friends Chris.” Devante says cutting off my thoughts
“I only know one of them. That’s Joelle.” I say with disgust, I still remember her attacking me Kimmie, and Le’Darice at my event.
“Well you need to call her, you never know.” He says
“They stopped being friends though.” I tell him
“All the more reason to call her, an enemy. She might try to help my brother. And I know Joelle too, she’s evil.” He says
“And try to get to me?” I ask
“I don’t know that’s all on how you think that would play out.” He answers
“Alright, it’s worth a shot.” I say and search for Joelle’s name
It rings four times before she answers.
“Hello?” She says
“Aye Joelle, it’s me.” I say
“Who? I don’t have this number saved in my phone.” She tells me
Yeah right she doesn’t have my number saved, tryna be slick.
“It’s Chris. Brown.” I tell her
“Oh Chris! What can I do for you?” She asks
“Le’Darice has been kidnapped and I need to know if there’s any place that you know of that LT would bring her.” I say as calm as I possibly can
“WHAT! Are you serious? The fuck! Yeah, I mean I know places LT always talked about going if he was ever to get and keep the girl of his dreams.” She says
I turn to the twin and speak.
“Aye, she says she knows some places they could’ve gone.” I tell him
“Good, invite her over here then.” He says
“Whoa, hold up. I can’t have her up in here. Restraining order.” I reply
“Do you want Le’Darice back or not?” He says
I can’t say anything back to that. I tell Joelle to come over and to make it quick, cause we need to find her.
“Is she coming?” The twin asks
I nod yes.
When she gets back I’m laying it all on the table for her. How I feel, and where I want our relationship to go, and all of that shit. I don’t care what anybody says about us, it isn’t even about my rep anymore. Or the type of figure she has.
Love is here, and it’s here to stay.
“LT he called me. You two can go.” I say
“Wait, what are you about to say?” He asks me
“Shut the fuck up, I ain’t going to tell him that you’re going to Mexico. I hold up on my part of deals.” Or so you think.
“Good, because it’s not going to be good if some shit goes down, and it’s your fault.” He says
“Yeah, right.” I say and walk over to Le’Darice.
“Le’Darice.” I say and rip the tape off her mouth. I’m surprised she doesn’t spit in my face as I did.
“How can you do this to me.” She says weak, and defenseless
“How can you do all that shit to me? Taking Chris away was too much to handle. It shouldn’t have ever been you.” I tell her
“You did it to yourself. Maybe if you didn’t act crazy and like everything’s about you. You always put me down, and acted like you’re the shit, and I bet Chris is done dealing with girls like you.” She says to me
“What are you trying to say? He loves you?” I ask
“He-“ And she stops
“What? See, he hasn’t told you he loves you, or is in love with you. Soooo..”
“Joelle, can you shut the fuck up.” LT snaps
“Sorry. But I’m gonna go. Goodbye forever. Unless I pop down to Mexico.” I say with a smile and walk out.
I’m sitting here tied up, getting ready to be taken to Mexico where most likely nobody will find us. Instead of thinking of ways that I know I can possibly escape I’m thinking about Chris. I really don’t know how he feels. I mean, he’s said that he loves me, but that’s in a friend sense. He doesn’t know how I feel about him either. Why must we be so difficult with each other? And act so stupid, if we love each other then why can’t we just say it and be together?
“Le’Darice?” I hear in a voice
I look up and it’s Chris. Chris? Oh my God.
“Chris, what are you doing? Where’s LT?” I ask
“He’s gone. This is done with, he’s going to jail till his court hearing for your Mom.” He says
I feel somebody untying my wrists and I jump up and put my arms around Chris.I bury my head in his chest.
“I thought I’d never see you again.” I say in between light cries.
He holds me tighter, and I just don’t want to let go.
“C’mon let’s walk. It’s safe for us now.” He says and I release him and grab his hand instead.
He let’s go of my hand and pulls me close and puts his arm around me.
“Oh, I thought you didn’t want to hold my hand.” I say
“This feels more close to me.” He replies
“It is.” I say
“I thought I was going to lose you forever.” He tells me
“I already said that.” I say back to him
“But to what extent? I would give up everything just to find you.” He tells me
“I pray to god you would never do that Chris. God blessed you with a career, I wouldn’t want you giving that all up for me.” I tell him
“But I wouldn’t be able to give everyone that supports me 100%, and that’s what they deserve.” He tells me
It’s silent for a while.
“I still wouldn’t want you to give up all you have for me… I’d find my way back to you.” I whisper
He looks at me surprised. And moves his arm away from me. He grabs my shoulders and looks right at me. I pay close attention to all his features, especially his freckles. Then all of a sudden he starts shaking me.
“Chr-chris, stop. Stop! Chris!”
I’m trying to get the fuck out of this place, and Le’Darice falls asleep. Of all times to fall asleep. I grab her shoulders and start shaking her awake.
“Le’Darice! C’mon now you need to get up.” I yell
I shake her a little harder and she jolts awake.
“Let’s go.” I tell her
“Why are you doing this? You know I won’t ever love you the same way again. My Mom is gone because of you. DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND! She is gone, and will never come back, and it’s because of YOU and your jealousy. I will never ever love you.” She snaps at me
“That’s fine, as long as I get to love you…I’m fine. I don’t need love from you. You being around is enough.” I say
“Please, just let me go. I don’t want to go with you!” She yells
“Well shut up, cause you don’t have a choice.” I say
“You’re not who I thought you were.” She says
I think of my brother and laugh.
“You got that right DC.” I say
“What do you mean?” She asks
“Nothing, let’s go.” I say freeing her legs
I grab her by the arm and take her to the van.
“Yeah, your van doesn’t look suspicious at all LT. Not at all.” She says
“Just get in okay.” I say pushing her in
One step closer to freedom with my lady. This is it, finally.
I speed over to Chris’ place. Acting worried and what not because I supposedly still love my best friend. I hope that bitch Kim is not there, because I will definitely get her this time around. I get to his place and there’s cops and shit. He needs this many cops to find her? Damn.
I walk into his house, and see him standing talking to Kim of course, and some other dude that looks oddly familiar.
He sees me and walks toward me.
“Joelle.” He greets
“Chris, any luck so far?” I ask
“No, but I’m glad you’re here to help.” He says
“Of course, even though me and DC had a falling out, I still love her like a sister.” I tell him
He leads me over to a table and we sit.
“Did you know LT has a brother?” he asks me
“What? No he didn’t. He is an only child.” I tell him, what the hell is he talking about?
“Joelle, this is Devante.” He says and I turn slowly to my right
“Holy shit, twin brother?” I say looking at an exact LT replica
“Yes, I am.” He tells me
Oh damn, oh damn.
“Why haven’t I met you?” I ask
“Oh no, we’ve met. Plenty of times.” He answers.
“What?” I say
“I’ll explain later.” He tells me
“Yeah, we just need you to tell us where LT could be.” Chris asks
“Mexico.” I say
“That’s right!” Devante says
“What..” I say to him, creeped out
“I should’ve known this, he always talked about going to Mexico after graduation. That’s why he took four years of Spanish.” He says
Chris jumps out of his chair and talks to a group of cops.
“We leave to Mexico in the morning. We’re going to get them.” Chris says
Oh shit, maybe I should’ve waited a little bit longer. But I can make this work.
“I need to make a call.” I say
I run outside to the back and call LT.
“Hello?” He answers
“LT they’re going to Mexico.” I tell him
“WHAT? THE FUCK. YOU TOLD THEM?” He yells
“I didn’t think he’d run off to Mexico! And nigga your brother is here helping him too” I tell him
“My brother? Devante?” He asks
“Yes you piece of shit, why didn’t you tell me.” I say
“I gotta go.” He says then hangs up
“You know exactly where he is.”
I jump and turn around to Kimmie and Ty.
“What?” I ask
“You were just talking to him! Don’t fucking lie! WE BOTH HEARD YOU.” She screams
I don’t say anything and start running.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way.
“Oh fuck, we better get over there, he’s probably flipping shit.” I told Kimmie
“Yeah, you’re right, I’ll just ride with you?” She asks
“Of course Kimmie.” I tell her
We run to the car and pull out in record time.
“So, you and Le’Darice are friends?” Kimmie asks
“Yeah, we’ve been friends Kim. Even before New York. But after we got closer, just talking. It’s good to have someone to talk to you know.” I say
“Did she ever say anything about me?” She says
“Yeah, she did.” I answer
“What’d the bitch say.” She snaps
“Kim, you’re overreacting. She didn’t say anything bad about you. She was just hoping Chris was treating you better than he did her. And that she hopes you’re happy. And the good happy.” I tell her
“Oh, maybe I should let you finish before I start talkin’ that shit huh…” She says
I just nod in agreement.
“I’m sorry things didn’t work out how you wanted them to, with the nigga and all.” I say
“I’m not, I needed that, because now I’m one hundred percent sure being with you is what I need in my life.” She says
“I’m glad.” I say
My place is filled with cops, and a lot of them. This was a big deal, and I wanted Le’Darice back. I tried calling her Dad but he didn’t answer. He obviously doesn’t care about his daughter which is a shame because he’s missing out on being able to call her, his daughter, and just being proud of her in general. A cop came up to me and started rambling.
“So, the lights when out. You went to go start the generator that took you about 30-45 minutes to do, you come back up to check on Ms. Rose, only to notice that she’s missing. You then proceed to check her buzzing phone, and get a picture of her and –“
“LaTrey.” I say cutting him off
“Well we need to find him quickly before he starts crossing state lines.” The cop tells me
“Well let’s get this shit done! I want my girl back, safe.” I tell him
The door rings, and I run to go answer it. It’s Kimmie and Ty.
“Dang y’all are here.” I say
“Of course, why wouldn’t we be.” Ty says
“We cool?” I ask
“Of course nigga.” He says and gives me a little dap
“Kim?” I say questionably
I’m not sure if she’s still mad at me for earlier. I wasn’t expecting her to get over like that, but I wanted us to be on common ground.
“I love you. You’re my best friend, and I’ll be here for you always. Whether you like it or not. You can’t get rid of me ugly.” She says with a smile.
I pull her close and squeeze her. Times like these I’m glad to have friends that aren’t fake or shit like that.
“Damn nigga, you got the entire police department in here or what?” Ty says with a laugh
“Maybe we’ll find her sooner that way?” I say not sure why there’s this many cops up in here.
The doorbell rings again, and I go and open the door. My instinct reaction was a punch to his face.
“HEY HEY HE’S HERE GET Y’ALL LAZY POLICE ASSES OVER HERE!” I hear Kim yelling
I got LT by the collar and just keep jabbing him constantly in the stomach. Suddenly a Mijo and Ty pull me off him, to let the cops cuff him.
“Wait, I’m not who you think I am!” He says trying to get free
But then I realized, why would LT come knowing there’s more than 15 cop cars out front?
“Wait, wait hold up.” I say looking at him closely.
“I’m not who you think I am.” He says again
“Who the fuck are you then?” I ask
“I’m LT’s brother. Twin brother.”
I opened my eyes, and felt and instant burning sensation.
“Ah shit, what the hell?” I said to my self
I tried raising my hands to my face to rub my eyes, but wasn’t able to.
“What is this?” I say
I start moving my hands, and they’re tied together.
What the hell?
“HELLO! ANYONE THERE! HELLO!” I start yelling
My heart starts racing, and in the back my mind I know this isn’t some joke.
“It’s okay bestie.” I hear right in front of me
“Who are you?” I say
“I guess it’s been a while, you don’t recognize my voice huh DC.” The voice says again
Suddenly bright ass lights turned on. After getting my eyes to adjust I saw who it was.
“Joelle?” I say
“Oh, at least you recognize me.” She says with a smile
“What is this?” I say confused as fuck
“This is me getting rid of a pest, but helping out another old friend too.” She says
And then LT walks in.
“My love.” He simply says looking at me
“Don’t even start that my love shit with me LT!” I yell
“Aye bitch shut the fuck up.” Joelle snaps at me
“Jo’. Don’t talk to her like that.” LT says to her.
“LT, let’s talk real quick.” She says, and pulls him back out the door.
I wouldn’t have guessed this shit. How did Joelle even get into all of this? I haven’t associated myself for her because she has a bad temper, and put me down all the time. I never did anything wrong to her. I don’t understand this at all. How the hell am I a pest?
After all the thinking to myself, the rejoin me in the room.
LT walks in front of me, and kneels down.
“Le’Darice, my love. We’re going to be happy together. Away from all of this. Just me and you. Be my wife.” He says
I can feel hate flow through my entire body.
“Why would I want to marry the person that killed my Mother.” I say
“Oh, explain that LT.” Joelle says
“I didn’t mean to! Fucking Brown was trying to be the big hero, and I tried not to shoot her but I did. I didn’t’ want her to die. That’s not what I wanted. I loved her like my own mother and you knew that.” He says to me
“I don’t care, I hate you. I’ve hated you. You’ve made my life HELL since we got out of high school.” I tell him
“Well, none of that would’ve happened if you didn’t become a slut when Chris Brown came around.” He says
“FUCK YOU.” I hiss
“Oh, don’t worry, we’ll get to that.” He says with a smirk on his face.
My mind starts running wild. I start screaming and yelling, and viciously start shaking myself in the chair.
“LT control your hoe before I tape her fucking mouth!” Joelle yells
“DC please be quiet, please.” LT says and kisses me on the lips.
I want to spit in his face, but that won’t make the situation better. I just shut my mouth and glare at both of them, then speak.
“I understand why LT is here. But I don’t know why you are Jo.” I say
“Simple. You’re living the life I’m supposed to be living.” She says
“What are you talking about?” I ask
“Christopher Maurice Brown is supposed to be mine. It should’ve been him and I in NYC,me living with him, and me being with him 24/7. Fat girls don’t get guys like Chris Brown. You’re lucky enough to get LT and I sure as hell don’t know what Chris sees in you.” She answers
“It’s not my fault I don’t make everything revolve around me.” I tell her
She looks at me as if I’m crazy.
“LT check ya bitch. You know this could be the end of both y’all lives right here.” She says
“Don’t call her a bitch! You can’t be disrespecting her and shit, this could be the end of your life bitch. Don’t try that shit with me. I’m already wanted for murder so I suggest you shut the fuck up.” LT says
“Don’t act all bad now LaTrey, you were an emotional wreck without Le’Darice.” Joelle says
“Well shit, you can leave now. I don’t need your help anymore.” LT says
“Um, no. I’m still waiting for Chris to call me. He’s going to ask me if I know anything. I’m gonna feel bad and comfort him while we look and never find Ms. Le’Darice here. It’s a shame your daddy don’t give any fucks about you. He was right though, you killed your Mom. Shouldve just stayed in your zone and left Chris alone.” She rambles
Nobody understands how bad I wanted to get up and tear that ass up. I can’t believe she’s talking all this shit now, but, then again of course she would. I can’t do shit because I’m tied up. I know Chris is looking for me. I hope he finds me.
“Brother?” Chris says
“Yes, I’m his twin brother.” I tell him
“But how?” He asks
“We’ve always been together. We were sharing a life. But his decisions aren’t cuttin’ it for me anymore.” I tell him
“The fuck you mean sharing a life?” He says
“Like when we went to school. We’d alternate everyday. Monday he’d go, Tuesday I would, and so on. The days we went to school were the days we’d be able to go out in the public. We were never in public together or at the same time. He is LaTrey, but I was living as him too.” I tell him
“Holy shit.” A girl that’s next to Chris says
“Who are you then?” Chris says
“Devante.” I answer
“What are you doing here then?” He asks
“Le’Darice is the reason why we stopped being brothers. LT wasn’t the only who has been friends with Le’Darice since Kindergarten. He’s not the only one that’s in love with her either. I was first.” I say
“Guess that makes three.” Chris says
I’ve always been in love with her.